A Lighter Shade of Darkness
by Cindell T
Summary: Buffy and Spike's relationship is progressing nicely untill it's threatened by the actions of the Watcher's Council. Spike is left to turn to outside help to get his new...or rather, return to his old...problem under control.
1. LSOD Chapter1

Dreams Come True

A Lighter Shade Of Darkness  
Because not everything is simply black or white. 

[Home][1] [Other's][2] [Fan Art][3] [Links][4] [Link 2 me][5] [E-Mail][6]
[Cindell's Stories][7]

**"A Lighter Shade of Darkness"**  
By [Cindell T.][6]  
  
**Chapter 1**  
  
  


  
  
Spoilers: Takes place after "The Gift"  
Rated: PG-13  
Note: _Words in Italics are thoughts_  
Standard Disclaimer: The characters in this story do not belong to me, they belong to the Buffy The Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon. I am only using them for my story, and no copyright infringement is intended. Please don't sue, I have no money. No, really.  
  
Acknowledgements: As always, my thanks and admiration to Tracy and Abby. It's hard to find the words to express how much they have helped me, and how much I owe them. They're not just my beta's any more, I consider them friends.   
  
Synopsis: Sequel to [Dreams Come True][8]. Buffy and Spike's relationship is progressing nicely untill it's threatened by the actions of the Watcher's Council. Spike is left to turn to outside help to get his new...or rather, return to his old...problem under control.  
  
**********   
  
  
The vampire was tough and sneaky. Vampires didn't survive long unless they were. So he knew that by coming to Sunnydale, he was pushing his luck. The slayer that lived here was the best. Rumor had it she had even returned from the dead… a couple times. _Still_, he thought, _a job's a job. You do what you have to_. And right now he had to survive this fight. He peeked around the side of the crypt and searched the night's darkness with vampire eyes. She was out there; he could feel it. Where, was the question.  
  
His only answer was silence as he searched the dark expanse of the cemetery. A thought occurred to him, _Maybe I need a different point of view_. He backed away from the side of the small building, preparing to jump to the roof. He paused, his vampire hearing picking up a sound. He turned his head trying to pinpoint it and caught a whiff of something familiar in the slight breeze. "Slayer," he whispered; she was close.  
  
He jumped up to the roof of the crypt in one smooth leap, then suddenly came flying back down, landing on his back. He looked up for only a moment before rolling out of the way, as Buffy's boot landed hard, right where his face had been. "You're good." she admitted breathlessly.  
  
She charged him as he prepared himself for another go-round. They had been fighting for what seemed like hours and were both tiring. Despite how fatigued her muscles were, Buffy never slowed her punches. With a final kick, she sent him falling over the top of a tombstone. He tried to rise, but was still on one knee when Buffy leapt over him and staked him cleanly through the back.  
  
As his dust settled, Buffy stood straight up and glared at the space where he had been. "But not quite good enough." She was exhausted, but invigorated at the same time. Lately, more and more of the older and stronger vampires had been showing up, gunning for her. And as the fights got harder, she became stronger. Each one pushing her to be better, to be more than she was.  
  
She suddenly whirled at the sound of footsteps behind her. "'Bout bloody time, luv." Spike walked up to her, grinning his typical smart-ass grin. "Thought you were gonna fight that one all night."  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows at him, "What's the matter, jealous?"  
  
Spike scoffed at her remark "Me? Jealous? Of that…that poofter? What, just 'cause he got to see some of your best moves? 'Cause he could actually throw a punch without some soddin' chip zapping his skull? Just 'cause… it's been a long time since I've been able to fight you that hard?" He stepped closer to her.  
  
Buffy gave him a mock defensive look and protested, "He didn't fight that hard. I won didn't I? He's dusty; I'm still standing. Piece of cake."  
  
Spike grinned at her. "Piece of cake, right. That why it took you close to a bleedin' hour to dust him?" He noticed her shaking arms and took a step closer. "By the looks of things, you wouldn't 'ave been standin' much longer." He tilted his head and grinned at her as she shivered slightly. "Or are you just tremblin' with desire for me?" he gave her his sexiest smile and lightly traced one finger down her bare arm.   
  
She took a step closer to him and glared in his eyes. "In your dreams, bleach boy."  
  
"No, pet, in yours." He was inches from her as they looked into each other's eyes.   
  
She knew what he was waiting for; the traditional make out session that always followed any particular hard fight. He always waited for her to start it. He was being true to his word about giving her the time she needed and letting her set the pace. It had been months though, and she was getting tired of the now agonizingly slow pace. _Time to turn things up a notch_, she thought. She turned and quickly walked away.  
  
It took him a moment to react. "Bloody hell. Hey!" When he finally had use of his legs again, he trotted the few steps to catch up with her. "Aren't you forgetting something?" She ignored him and kept walking. He grabbed her arm to stop her. "Where do you think you're going?"  
  
"To the Magic Box." She turned to leave again, and this time he grabbed her more forcefully and pulled her too him. She had to struggle not to smile.  
  
"Is that what you really want to do?" He looked deep into her eyes, trying to read her.   
  
She gazed back placidly at first, but soon she could feel her pulse start to pick up. She knew he would notice, but she didn't want to give away anymore than she had to. "What do you think? You're so good at knowing what I want. You tell me." She raised her chin slightly, trying to seem stubborn and unaffected.  
  
He didn't buy it. In the space of one breath he could feel her desire rising. That old familiar pattern of changes in her body that told him the truth she would never speak. "I'll do better than tell, luv. I'll show you." He gave her a seductive smile as he drew closer.  
  
She leaned back, a teasing smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. He noticed, and immediately changed his mood from slow and seductive to fast and demanding. He pulled her to him and wrapped one arm behind her head, quickly claiming her mouth with his own. She was ready for him and responded with equal passion. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him hard against her.  
  
He stopped the assault on her mouth and began kissing a wet trail down the side of her neck to the dip where it met her shoulder. There he settled and began teasing her in earnest, biting and licking at her tender skin. He clutched her to him as her breathing quickened.   
  
This was what she had always wanted, what she could never get from anyone else, pure passion, aggressive and demanding. A desire so strong it held nothing back. As his blunt teeth bit and scraped along her neck, she realized how much she truly trusted him. He sucked hard on her neck, causing shivers up her spine. She let out a small quiet moan.  
  
He lifted his head to look at her face. Her eyes were burning as she gazed back at him. "Tonight." She said. "Now." No other words were needed. He took her hand and began walking quickly toward his crypt.  
  
*************  
Giles was at the Magic Box's front counter, unpacking two huge antique books. He put the first one down gently and began unwrapping the second. As he removed the acid free tissue paper from the back cover, he smiled at how well preserved the dark burgundy color of the leather still was. He lightly traced his hand down the cover, marveling at the smooth supple texture. The only thing better than receiving rare old books, was receiving rare old books in mint condition.  
  
Giles slowly turned it to gaze at the binding and noticed the title embossed in gold leaf. As he finally turned it to the front cover he gasped slightly. Centered in the front cover was a raised emblem of a blood red dragon carrying a sorcerers magic staff in its taloned claw. It's furrowed brows rode two bloodstone eyes that glared at him with fiery hatred. Above it the title 'The Legend of Enoch' fairly glowed, embossed in gold.  
  
Giles slowly began to open the book, holding his breath in anticipation. Suddenly the phone rang and he started, nearly dropping the book. He rolled his eyes and carefully placed the book down as he picked up the phone. "The Magic Box, how may I help you?" His eyes were still on the book till he heard the familiar voice at the other end.  
  
"Rupert? This is Edward. We need to talk" His voice was strained and Giles immediately knew something was wrong.  
  
"Yes, Edward. What is it?" Giles placed the books back in the box.  
  
"Things here are rather… well, we've been a bit preoccupied here as of late, which is why I haven't called before. How is Miss Summers doing?"  
  
Giles bristled at the question. The last time the Council had visited them they had put everyone on the defensive, claiming the need to know if Buffy was prepared for the information they had on Glory. They had attacked her methods, grilled her friends needlessly, not to mention threatened Giles with deportation. The fact that they had called out of the blue and asked about Buffy put him on edge, to say the least. "She is doing well."  
  
"And her friends… are they remaining… useful?"  
  
"Yes, quite. Edward what…"  
  
Edward interrupted him, "And the vampire… Spike. What about him?"  
  
Giles was taken aback. "Spike? Edward, what is going on here? Have you not been receiving my reports?"   
  
Edward was silent for a moment. "Some of them, yes. But…uh…circumstances being what they are here, we've found it rather difficult to…keep up…as it were." He paused. "I really need to know about the vampire, Rupert. It's very important."  
  
Giles answered, "Spike is…um…well, he's still among the undead. He has become quite an integral part of our group actually, helping with patrols…"  
  
Edward sounded shocked. "He has?"  
  
"Well…yes. It…it's really quite remarkable how…"  
  
"What about his bloodlust? How is that effecting him?" Edward asked.  
  
"Well, I…I don't really know. It's not a topic we discuss…I suppose the same as it always has." Giles was beginning to resent the interruptions but was intrigued to find out why all the sudden interest in Spike.  
  
"So nothing has changed? How odd. We were certain that it would have had some effect on him." Edward drifted off in thought.  
  
"You were certain **what** would have some effect on him? Really Edward, I do wish you would just explain what you're talking about."   
  
Now Giles was really confused. Lately the Watchers Council had been more and more out of the loop for some unexplained reason. Though Giles had continued to send his reports to the council as regularly as possible, replies from them had come fewer and farther between. When Buffy died and they had decided to use the Buffybot to keep up appearances, Giles had decided to keep that detail out of his reports. Dawn and the Scooby's needed him here. If the council found out the Slayer was dead they would have pulled him back to England.  
  
After a few moments of silence Edward spoke, "Are you alone?"  
  
Giles carried the phone around to the other side of the counter and looked around the store. The store was completely empty and though he knew Anya was around somewhere he couldn't see her. "I… I believe so."  
  
"Rupert," Edward spoke impatiently. "You must be certain. This is important."  
  
Giles frowned and looked around the store again. "Well alright. There's no one here, I'm sure of it. What's this all about then?"  
  
Edward sighed and began in a low voice. "A few months ago you came to me with a problem. Do you remember? Having to do with Buffy's… reluctance in staking a certain vampire ?"  
  
Giles remembered all too well. When Buffy had told him about Spike chaining her up in order to confesses his love for her, Giles had nearly hit the roof. Gone through it in fact. Then when Spike had come to the Magic Box Giles had assumed he was trying to weasel his way into her good graces by going through her friends. He had barely restrained himself from staking Spike then and there. Instead, he sent him on his way and called the Council. He had decided it would be best for everyone if Spike would finally get that chip out of his head. That way there would be nothing holding anyone back from staking him.  
  
In order to get the Council to do that, Giles had told them about Spike's infatuation with Buffy. He had told them that the combination of that and the chip keeping him from hurting anyone, was giving Buffy a reason to resist killing him. Without the chip, she would see him for his true self and certainly have no qualms about killing him.   
  
Giles regretted making that call now, for so many reasons. "Oh dear Lord. You mean…"  
  
"Yes. I took your advice and had the chip removed from Spike. He is fully capable of taking human life now. In fact he has been for some time."  
  
"What? How long is 'for some time'… exactly?" Dread was pooling in the pit of Giles stomach as he realized what Edward was suggesting.  
  
"The operation was carried out just after the issue with Glory had been resolved. Our people were lucky enough to find him in a state of… well… he was quite out of it when they found him. Apparently he had been taking to the bottle quite a bit for some reason. He did us a favor actually. Made it easier to capture him without his being aware. The operation went smoothly, and we had him back in his crypt five days later. He was completely unaware anything had happened."  
  
Giles sat slowly on the stool behind him. He couldn't believe all that time had gone by without anyone knowing. Spike had been with them all, including Dawn, without anything to hold him back from killing them, or worse. He wondered briefly why Spike hadn't tried. He dismissed the thought quickly reminding himself that he had become an important part of the group, even to the point of risking his life for them. That coupled with the fact that Spike didn't know it was out, of course he wouldn't try anything. But it was only a matter of time.  
  
Edward broke through his thoughts. "Giles, I was going to tell you right away but… well… as I said, we've been a bit preoccupied with problems of our own. In fact… I really need to go now. I'm not sure when we'll be able to speak again… so…good luck." The line suddenly went dead.  
  
Giles looked at the receiver in confusion. "Bloody hell." He knew something had to be seriously wrong for Edward to just hang up on him like that. _Good_, he thought. _Serves them right_. Giles hung up the phone and smirked happily for a moment before his mind brought him back to the danger at hand. "Buffy!"   
  
He jumped up and rushed to the door, nearly running into Dawn head first. "Dawn, have you seen Buffy? Is she at your house?"  
  
"No, I just came from there." Dawn looked up at him warily. He looked completely panicked and she was about to ask him what was wrong.  
  
He suddenly grabbed her shoulders. "Where are they?"  
  
"She and Spike went patrolling hours ago. Jeesh Giles, what's the problem?"  
  
"Stay here," he told her firmly and disappeared out the door.  
  
Dawn walked over to the table as she tried to figure out what just happened. Anya stepped slowly out of the training room and crossed to the table, a look of fear on her face.  
  
Dawn was too confused over Giles behavior to notice. As she sat down, she asked Anya, "What the heck was that about?"  
  
"Trouble." Anya looked up at Dawn. "The big kind."  
  
*****************   
The door of Spike's crypt flew open as he and Buffy stumbled inside. They had run the last few yards and Buffy was laughing breathlessly. Spike closed the door behind them and turned to see his love trying to calm a giggling fit.  
  
She looked up to see him approaching her. Her giggles subsided as she took in his seductive smile. He was hunting her as he stalked ever closer, his eyes never leaving hers, his desire showing clearly in their blue depths.  
  
When he was mere inches from her he stopped and tilted his head to look her over. He watched her chest rise and fall heavily, felt the heat radiating from her body. When he looked into her eyes and saw the naked passion displayed there his desire nearly overwhelmed him.   
  
"What are you waiting for, Spike?" She said huskily. "Show me you want me." She smiled at him and leaned slightly forward.  
  
Not able to resist any longer, Spike pulled her close and seared her lips with a burning kiss. She clung to him trying desperately to get closer. He withdrew from her and once again his mouth began a slow wet journey down her neck as his hands roamed under her shirt.  
  
She arched back, leaning against the tomb behind her, and wrapped her legs around his waist. He could feel her heat right through his jeans and it coaxed a low growl from his throat. The vibrations of his growl against the pulse in her neck sent shivers through her body. "Oh, Spike" She moaned.  
  
Suddenly the door of the crypt flew open, banging loudly. Spike was startled enough that his game face flew on as he turned to fight. As soon as he saw Giles come through the doorway, he shook off his demon visage and relaxed a bit. "Bloody hell!"  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Giles rushed up to them as they separated, and stood protectively in front of Buffy. "You just stay back, Spike. I'm warning you."  
  
Buffy embarrassment melted as confusion took it's place. She stared at him in disbelief. "Giles, What's the matter?"  
  
"Yea, I was just… Um…I was going to…uh…" Spike stumbled over trying to come up with something other than the truth. Buffy had given him a long talk about how she didn't want anyone to know what was going on with them until, well, until she knew just what was going on. He had agreed to keep their make-out sessions a secret for the time being. So just how was he supposed to explain this?  
  
"I know bloody well what you were going to do, and I won't let you. You will not turn her." Giles gave Spike a dangerous look. For a second Spike saw the Ripper in his eyes.  
  
"Turn me? What are you talking about Giles?" Buffy stepped around Giles and stood between him and Spike.  
  
Giles looked from Buffy to Spike and back. They were both looking at him as if he'd gone insane. Maybe he had. He'd seen the way they looked at each other when they thought no one was watching. He knew Buffy was starting to fall for him and that was something he couldn't allow. Despite Spike's obvious love and loyalty for Buffy, he was still a vampire. And especially now that Spike was freed of the chip, he was certain it wouldn't be long before his vampire urges resurfaced. He was just glad he had gotten there in time. "Buffy, come with me." He took her hand and tried to pull her away from Spike, all the while watching him as one would a cobra about to strike.  
  
She stood her ground "No, Giles. Not till you tell me what's going on. I haven't seen you this tweaked since… well, I don't think I've ever seen you this tweaked." He really did look slightly crazed and Buffy was beginning to worry.   
  
"I will explain everything later, just come with me now." He tried to pull her away again but this time she yanked her hand out of his grasp.  
  
"No." She suddenly had that look she got when she would not leave something alone. "I'm not going anywhere till you explain why you are so sure Spike will try to turn me. As we all remember he can't hurt anyone with that computer chip in his brain." Giles remained silent, glaring at Spike, with his hand on Buffy's arm. "Giles, what is it?" She suddenly had a bad feeling something was terribly wrong. "Tell me, now." Her voice left no room for argument and Giles broke his gaze on Spike, long enough to get a read of her face.  
  
Giles spoke quietly and slowly, watching Spike for a reaction, more than Buffy, "Well, Buffy. You see…he doesn't… exactly have… the chip… anymore. It was removed." He gently pulled the shocked Slayer, away from the even more shocked vampire.   
  
After several minutes of tense silence, Spike was the first to recover. "Now wait just a bloody minute. That's impossible. I think I would bloody well remember somebody cutting a hole in my skull."  
  
Giles hadn't taken his eyes off Spike. "Not necessarily. They could have drugged you without you knowing and kept you out of it the entire time."  
  
"How long?" Buffy stared at Spike as if she'd been betrayed. "How long have you been without it?"  
  
Spike was hurt by the look on her face. He knew she was thinking that he had kept it a secret from her. "How the bloody hell should I know?"  
  
"Think," Giles replied. "when was the last time you actually tried to hurt someone?"   
  
Buffy tried to think but her brain wouldn't respond. She felt like she was falling into a great abyss. For months she had trusted him, with her life, with her sister… with her heart. Had he been playing her that whole time? Waiting till the right moment to strike out at all of them?   
  
"The fight with Glory." His voice and face were calm. The kind of dread calm you get when you realize something you would give your life not to know. He looked straight at Buffy. "The last time I hurt a human was that night at the gas station. You remember. The Knights-of-misplaced-loyalties were trying to get lil' bit? I stepped in to fight the good fight, and got zapped right on my soddin' ass for tryin'."  
  
Buffy couldn't believe it, wouldn't believe it. All that time without it. She looked from Spike to Giles. "Yea, but wouldn't we have noticed he was missing? I mean, an operation like that doesn't happen one day and then you're up and around the next, scar free like nothing's wrong."   
  
Giles answered her, still looking at Spike. "Actually, it took five days exactly."  
  
"Five days when?" Buffy crossed her arms. Spike had been with her or Dawn pretty much constantly since Buffy was reborn. There wasn't a single five-day span since… then it hit her. She looked at Spike. "When I… while I was…"  
  
"Dead." he finished for her. "After you died Buffy… I wasn't exactly my usual, fun-loving self." He tried to smile. "Not for a while at least." He hung his head down as painful memories resurfaced.  
  
"There were actually two weeks during that time when none of us saw him." Giles relaxed enough to glance at Buffy. "We just thought he was either grieving or had left town."  
  
Spike's head snapped up. "I would never leave Dawn, you know that." The defensive anger in his eyes put Giles back on edge, and he moved to stand between him and Buffy.  
  
"We didn't know that then, Spike. And now, without the chip, we have no reassurances that you will continue to protect her." Spike took a threatening step towards him, but Giles stood his ground.  
  
As they locked eyes, Spike realized that now was not the time to show force. He regained control of his emotions and tried, what he hoped was a sincere smile. "Guess I have some reassuring to do, now don't I?"   
  
The two men stared each other down, neither one sure if they trusted the other. Finally Giles spoke in a low, threatening voice. "Well, the only thing that will accomplish that task is time. Something I am willing to grant you. However, you only have one chance Spike. You hurt one hair on anyone's head, you so much as bruise anyone's feelings… I will make sure you wish Buffy staked you a long time ago."  
  
Spike nearly shivered at Giles' tone. The look in his eyes was pure Ripper. Spike never could resist tempting fate though, so he smiled and tilted his head. "You know? You would have made one hell of a vampire, mate."   
  
Giles smiled back humorlessly. "You don't know the half of it." He took a step back. "Remember Spike, one chance." In the instant he turned from Spike to Buffy, all signs of the Ripper vanished from his face. Giles smiled tenderly at her, "We really should go tell the others. I came straight to tell you first."  
  
She nodded absently at him and they turned to go. As Spike watched them leave he thought to himself, _Well Spike. You finally got your wish, you're chip free. And you know what? You're also just about the luckiest bloke on the planet. If you can just convince Buffy's watchdog there that you're not a threat…_  
  
Spike walked away happily. He'd had the chip for two years and during that time had grown to love Buffy more than his own life. He felt certain he wouldn't have a problem resisting his vampire urges. Giles was right, it would just take time for them to come around. And, being a vampire, time was something he had plenty of.   
  
****************   
Giles and Buffy walked silently though the night toward The Magic Box. He kept silent, aware of her turmoil, simply keeping her company, ready for the time when she would want to talk.  
  
A million thoughts raced though her mind as she struggled with the ramifications of what she had just been told. Spike no longer had a chip. That meant he could hurt anyone, he could hunt again. Sure, he'd been without the chip for months now, but that didn't mean anything. It was like the prison door had been left unlocked without him knowing it. He had thought it was locked, so he'd had no reason to try to open it before. But now… now he could.  
  
She stopped walking and turned to Giles. "This is huge. Bigger than huge, it… it's… huge! Spike is without a chip. Spike is chipless. He could hurt anyone, kill anyone." She resumed walking, faster this time. "I just don't get why this happened, either. I mean, why would someone want to take his chip out without telling him? It, it's like they were experimenting or…the Initiative." Buffy stopped and looked at Giles.  
  
Before her confused mind could form the next thought, Giles replied, "It wasn't the Initiative." He paused. Buffy raised her eyebrows at him in exasperation, and he continued reluctantly. "It… it was the Council of Watchers."   
  
Buffy was dumfounded. "The Council of Watchers? Ok, I know there are some pretty twisted minds running that thing, but why the hell would they want Spike chipless? If anything, I would think they'd just want him dead. Unless… they thought with the chip gone I'd have no reason to let him live anymore?" Buffy read Giles face as affirmative. Affirmative and… guilty. "Ok, you know something you're not telling, so tell."  
  
Giles fidgeted uncomfortably. "We really should be getting on so we can tell the others, don't you think?"  
  
"What I think is that you'd better spill what you know. Now." She stood in front of him, pinning him with her eyes.   
  
He realized he wasn't going anywhere till he confessed, so he took a deep breath. "I called the Council and planted the seed of an idea in their minds that without the chip, Spike would return to his ways and you would quickly be forced to do away with him." At her stunned expression he hurriedly continued. "It… it was a long time ago, back when he uh… when it seemed his feelings for you were becoming… dangerous. I only did it to protect you, Buffy. I had no way of knowing things were going to develop as they have."  
  
Buffy was silent, waiting to hear the rest she knew she wouldn't like.  
  
"Today I received a call from the Council. The questions they asked lead me to believe they had decided it would be interesting… to um… remove it without telling him, or, or me… and see how he reacted."  
  
"So you're saying they've been watching us this whole time? That they're probably watching us right now, amusing themselves with how our little drama is unfolding?" She looked angrily around.   
  
"No, actually they haven't been able to… uh… watch us, for quite some time now. Apparently soon after the operation on Spike they ran into… well, they didn't say exactly what, but something else took a higher priority for them." Giles smiled at the possibilities of what the Council being distracted by a 'higher priority' could mean. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good for them. He turned serious again as he noticed the anger on Buffy's face.   
  
"The… the point is, without the chip there is nothing to hold him back from his true nature. I'm sure it will not be long before he gives into his instincts, then I'm afraid you'll have to put him down for good."  
  
Buffy's blood turned to ice as she realized what Giles had just admitted. "No."  
  
He looked at her, confused. "No what?"  
  
"No, I won't 'put him down for good'. He hasn't killed anyone in all these months that he's been without the chip, hasn't even tried to hurt anyone." She cut him off as he tried to speak, "And there is nothing to suggest that's what he going to do now. So you can put away any thoughts of Spike becoming dusty, by my hand or anyone else's. Unless and until he proves me wrong, he's one of the good guys."   
  
She paused and became thoughtful, "You know, I always knew there was more to evil and good than just black and white, but I don't think it really sunk in until now. Of course, until now, I never thought that my Watcher, the man I looked up to and respected, would do something so dark and twisted as manipulating the Council to do his dirty work. Until now, I never thought that a soulless vampire could be anything but a cold blooded killer, incapable of any real feeling or decency."   
  
She looked at him sadly and frowned, disappointed that the man before her was so different than she had thought. "I guess I'm gonna be doing a lot more thinking from now on." She turned her back on him and walked the rest of the way, alone.  
  
********************   
After two years Spike was free. No more holding back. "Look out world. Spike's back." He laughed out loud at the pure joy his demon was finally feeling. _Course, they'll be no actual killing_, he chided himself. _Buffy wouldn't stand for that, not even if I was starving_. He smiled evilly, _But then again, at least I won't have to pussyfoot around like some bloody poof trying not to step on anyone's toes_. He thought of all the times he'd held back from smacking Xander, or… _Oooo, training Dawn should be interesting_.   
  
He had been enjoying the sparing matches they'd had, but they both knew he was holding back and that wouldn't help her reach her full potential. Giles had tried to train her, but he acted fatherly toward her, treating her like she was glass. Buffy couldn't train her because of all the sister-angst between them, their fights always ended up being just that; fighting, not training.   
  
But Spike… now with the chip gone, Spike could show her what vampire fighting was really like. He'd not seriously hurt her, of course, but actually being able to land a few punches would be… fun. Spike grinned wider at the idea, as his demon instincts beginning to surface. He turned down into an alley, headed for Buffy's house. There was no school for Dawn tomorrow, and Spike hoped he could convince her to join him in a little midnight training session.  
  
As he got about half way down the alley he froze. He turned his head slightly, sniffing the air. Blood; fresh and warm. He turned around and stepped slowly back the way he'd come. One step, two. There it was again. He stopped and listened intently, his vampire hearing honing in on the small shuffling sound coming from behind a door on his left.  
  
He stepped up to the door and noticed fresh blood smeared on its edge. He breathed in deeply and his vampire features covered his human face. The air was not only heavy with the smell of blood, but also fear. Whatever it was, it was wounded badly and its attacker was nearby. Spike took a step back and kicked the door open. It was pitch black inside, but he could still see a young girl cowering in the far corner of the small windowless room.  
  
He stepped in and stalked slowly toward her, his senses on full alert for her attacker. When he got close he could see that she had bite marks on her neck and deep scratches all down her arms. Her blood was dripping from every mark, and a growl of pure demon pleasure rumbled in his throat. The instinctive reaction caused him to pause. _Where did that come from_? he wondered. The sight of humans in pain hadn't been a turn on for him in a long time. _I must be more hungry than I realized_, he thought dismissively. Shaking off his demon features he looked at her again. He could tell whatever vampire did this to her was inexperienced, or weak from hunger.   
  
Spike had only seen marks like that once before, a long time ago. The vampire who made them had been at the end of his rope, starving, desperate for the slightest taste of blood. The vampire had lunged at a man, and clumsily managed to catch its teeth on his neck before the man backed up, screaming. During that struggle, the vampire had clawed frantically at the man's arms, trying to hold on to him long enough to get a good bite. That vampire had been Spike.  
  
He was close to the girl now and crouched down low in front of her. He spoke quietly and calmly, "Don't worry now, luv. I won't hurt you."   
  
The girl was startled by the sound of his voice. She was completely blind in the darkness and tried to press closer to the brick wall behind her. She was nearly hysterical but as Spike continued murmuring, his voice had an eerie calming quality, soothing her enough for her to be able to speak in a horse whisper. "Please, help me."  
  
"Course I will, luv." Spike began to reach toward her but stopped, and turned his head slowly to the left.   
  
Looking behind him he felt, rather than saw, the creature. The vampire was small, probably very young when it was turned. It began to crawl toward Spike, and as it entered the shaft of light from the open doorway, Spike could see he had been right. A dry skeleton of a boy crawled toward him, head barely raised enough to stare at him, arms wobbling as it tried to move closer. It's voice rasped through cracked lips to him. "She's mine. Leave us."  
  
Spike turned and grinned at the vampire. "Oh I'll leave, mate. But she's coming with me."  
  
The vampire struggled to rise. "You'll have to go through me." It tried to give a tough look, but ended up looking pitiful.   
  
Spike thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Alright." Quick as lightning he leapt forward, grabbed the vampire's head, and twisted it clean off. As the dust settled, he turned back to the girl. She was still crouched against the wall, whimpering, quickly drawing closer to death, as her dripping cuts fed into the pool of blood forming around her.  
  
Spike's demon screamed to take her quickly, before any more blood was wasted. "No." Spike commanded in a guttural voice. He took the girl up in his arms as gently as he could and carried her out the door to the alley. Her pulse was weakening and Spike knew she didn't have long. As he turned back up the alley, his demon raged, desperate for just a taste of the bloody girl in his arms.  
  
Spike continued up the alley, carrying the weak girl, as his demon called out for her blood. He stopped suddenly, his unnecessary breath coming faster as he looked down at her exposed neck. He watched for a moment as her pulse beat weakly, her blood seeping out the jagged mark in her neck. The smell of her blood was all around him, intoxicating him, calling to him. He smiled as his demon features once again surfaced. He leaned his head closer to her… then backed away.  
  
"No." He repeated and continued on up the alley, faster, desperate to get her to someone who could really help her. As he rounded the end of the alley, he ran straight into Giles.  
  
They stared at each other for a moment, the vampire and the Ripper. Spike marveled again at how purely evil and dangerous Giles could look when he took on the persona of his youth. Giles looked down at the girl. "Is she still alive?"   
  
Spike tried to let go of his vampire face but it wouldn't obey. "Yes she's alive. And I didn't do this."  
  
Giles smiled at him. "Of course." He held out his arms. "May I?"  
  
Spike gently placed the girl in his arms and stepped back, his human face finally returning. "You do believe me, right?" He watched as Giles carried the girl over to his car and carefully laid her in the back seat.  
  
"What I believe is irrelevant, Spike." He closed the door and turned back to the vampire he so desperately wanted to stake. He realized however, that if he did, Buffy would never be able to move on. She would always remember Spike as the misunderstood vampire who loved her, not the brutal killer that Giles knew him to be.   
  
"Although… I don't believe Buffy would quite see it that way." Giles stepped right up to Spike and stared at him with barely concealed hatred. "I will warn you for the last time, Spike. You have one chance with me. I find any real proof that you've hurt anyone…and I will stake you." He stood there for a moment before striding to the driver's side of his car. He gave Spike one last threatening look, and drove off toward the hospital.   
  
Spike stood watching the car disappear around the corner. He had thought it would be so easy, thought his love for Buffy would keep him from the call of the hunt. He had been a fool. He turned and walked toward his crypt, dreading the days to come, realizing he was in for the struggle of his un-life.   
  
  
To be continued…  
  
*******************  
  
  
So... come on, what'd ya think? Oh, you know you're dying to tell me. And look! There's a handy little form right there. Well, wha' do you know. And you thought sending feedback was hard. :)  


  
  


**Who are you?**  
  
**How can I reach you? (E-mail)**  
  
**Ok, What have you got to say.**  


  


  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
General Page design and graphics ©2001, [Shelly B. Creations][9]

   [1]: /goth/cindell
   [2]: /goth/cindell/oth.html
   [3]: /goth/cindell/art.html
   [4]: /goth/cindell/lin.html
   [5]: /goth/cindell/lin2me.html
   [6]: mailto:cindellt@yahoo.com
   [7]: /goth/cindell/cin.html
   [8]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=362704
   [9]: mailto:shellybcreations@yahoo.com



	2. LSOD chapter 2

A Lighter Shade of Darkness - Chapter 2 "A Lighter Shade of Darkness"  
By Cindell T.   
Ch2 

Spoilers: Takes place after "The Gift"  
Rated: PG-13  
Standard Disclaimer: The characters in this story do not belong to me, they belong to the Buffy The Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon. I am only using them for my story, and no copyright infringement is intended. Please don't sue, I have no money. No, really.

Acknowledgements: As always, my thanks and admiration to Tracy and Abby. It's hard to find the words to express how much they have helped me, and how much I owe them. They're not just my betas any more, I consider them friends. 

Synopsis: Sequel to [Dreams Come True][1]. Buffy and Spike's relationship is progressing nicely until it's threatened by the actions of the Watcher's Council. Spike is left to turn to outside help to get his new...or rather, return to his old...problem under control. Meanwhile, the dark spirit hiding in Willow finally makes it's move, attempting to completely control her... and her power.  


  
********   
Buffy walked into the Magic Box, prepared for battle. She had no illusions that it would be difficult, at best, to get everyone on her side about Spike. Dawn would be easy; she liked Spike, and trusted him when no one else did. His not having the chip wouldn't affect her opinion too much. 

The rest of them though, especially Xander, would be hard to win over. She marched up to the table where they were all sitting. "Guys, I'm glad you're all here. I've got some really, really big news you are not going to believe."

Anya spoke up in her usual blunt way. "Is it about Spike losing his chip?" 

Buffy froze and frowned at everyone. "Ok, maybe not so big news."

Tara smiled as Buffy sat next to her. "Anya was eavesdropping when Giles got the call."

"Was not." Anya replied defensively. "I just happened to be standing where he couldn't see me, but close enough for his loud voice to be heard clearly."

Buffy blinked at her, "And that's different from eavesdropping how?" 

Anya was at a loss for words. Unaccustomed to that situation, she looked down at her hands. "It just is." 

Xander suddenly spoke. "Ok, let's stick to the crisis with the most danger of getting us all killed; Spike is chipless. Ergo, I say we all grab some weapons, spread out over the city, and hunt him down. Who's with me?" 

"No one is hunting him down." Buffy stated firmly.

"You're right, spreading out would make us too easy a target. Will, you got some kind of vampire-calling spell?"

"I said no one is hunting him down, period. He's not a danger to us."

Xander looked at her disbelievingly. "Not a danger? Buffy, we're talking about Spike. The same Spike that tried to kill you numerous times, tried to kill Willow even when he was chipped"

"The same Spike who let Glory torture him till he was nearly dead, rather than give up Dawn. I know who we're talking about."

Xander sighed. "Look, I know he's been there for us lately, believe me, I get this. But you're ignoring one crucial detail He's a vampire. Without the chip, there's nothing holding him back."

"There's us holding him back." Dawn had been silent for as long as she could. "Spike may be a vampire, but he cares about us now all of us." She looked around at each of them. "He told me so himself. And Spike always protects the people he cares about. He won't hurt us now." She stood up and grabbed her book bag off the table. "I'm tired, let's go home Buffy."

"That's it?" Xander still wasn't convinced. "'Let's go home'? Dawn, home is the last place you should be. He has an open invite, he could sneak in while you slept"

"No he won't!" Dawn surprised them all. "Spike is not gonna hurt anyoneso just just drop it!" She ran from the store and after a scolding look at Xander, Buffy followed her out.

Xander looked around guiltily. "She'll be fine. She's just mad. I'm right though. I am." Xander looked down, feeling terrible. Anya patted his hand tenderly and they shared a comforting look.

*********************   
"Dawn wait!" Buffy ran to catch up to her sister. 

Dawn turned and glared at Buffy. "Why? Why did they have to do that to him? Hasn't he suffered enough? Now everybody's going to be trying to stake him and and he hasn't even done anything wrong. Why can't they just leave him alone?" She looked angrier than Buffy had seen her in a long time.

"No one's going to stake him. I promise." And she meant it too. As far as Buffy was concerned nothing had changed. She trusted Spike with everything she had, and she knew the depths of his love for both of them. It might not be easy, but Buffy was sure he would find a way to keep his demon in check even without the chip.

"He wouldn't do it. He'd never do it no matter what they say." Dawn crossed her arms and stared at the ground.

"I know." Buffy put her arm gently over her sisters shoulder and guided her back to the car. "It's getting late. Let's go home and we can talk more in the morning."

*********************   
Tara and Willow returned home, both silent in thought. It had been a strange night for them. They had watched the Buffy/Xander argument without saying a word. For Tara that was the norm, but for Willow to not say anything to support Buffy was strange. Tara plopped her bag in a chair and approached Willow, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Willow jumped and spun around, then relaxed and gave Tara an embarrassed smile. "Sorry, I'm a bit jumpy tonight. Guess that whole 'Spike can bite you for real' idea has me kinda wigged."

"Not a problem. I understand. Want me to draw you a hot bath?" She smiled affectionately at her. 

"Yea. Actually that sounds really good." Willow nodded.

Tara did as she promised, adding bubbles to the water and lighting several candles as well. She offered to join her lover, but Willow explained that she wanted to meditate and told her, "Maybe after dinner." Tara smiled understandingly and went to the kitchen to prepare their meal. 

Willow entered the bathroom and immediately gave a deep sigh. The room was very cozy and she could feel the tension start to leave. She closed the door and began to undress. Removing her earrings and necklace, she opened one of several jewelry boxes the girls owned. Resting in the bottom was the decorative gold amulet she had tried to use in a levitation exercise so long ago. Willow picked it up gently and looked it over, an urgent memory trying to resurface. She slowly lowered it to the counter and looked in the mirror. 

Her reflection looked back at her, with two black voids where her usually bright eyes should be. "The time has come so soon?" her reflection asked.

"Yes." Willow's body answered. "An unforeseen event has occurred to clear the path. I need only a few days time to weaken her support."

"You can be sure of this?" The surprised reflection replied.

"The witch is sure of it." The dark spirit hiding in Willow's body was growing impatient with its counterpart's questions and it showed in Willow's voice. "Without the vampire the Slayer will fall. And when that happens..." An evil smile crossed Willow's lips. "the witch will be without her greatest allies."

"Without two of her greatest allies." The reflection corrected. "What of the others, the younger witch in particular?"

Willow sighed and explained in a voice one would use with a small child, "The Slayer is the keystone of the group, the vampire her counterpart. Without them the others will be too weak to resist. We will have little opposition to our goal. Tell them to prepare, I will signal them soon."

The reflection nodded and its eyes returned to normal.

Willow blinked once then resumed undressing, unaware that anything was wrong.

*********************   
To say it was hard getting through the day was a huge understatement. As hard as she tried to concentrate, Buffy's mind kept wandering to Spike. Xander had been so sure Spike would kill again and Dawn had been just as sure he wouldn't. As much as she hated to admit it, Buffy found herself somewhere in the middle. She knew she trusted Spike, the chipped Spike. But without that guarantee she had to admit she was a little nervous about patrolling with him tonight. 

When the sun finally went down she found herself approaching his crypt with butterflies in her stomach. She stopped just outside the door, trying to decide the best way to handle the situation. After a few moments running through the possibilities, she decided the "nothing happened" approach would be the easiest. As she pushed the heavy crypt door open, she forced a smile and the back of her mind warned her to keep alert; just in case.

The crypt was nearly completely dark. The only light, that of the half full moon, filtering dimly through one dirty window. "Spike?" she called softly. There was no answer as she stepped slowly into the room. The trap door leading down to the lower level was open and Buffy slowly walked toward it, her nerves on edge.

The voice behind her made her jump and spin, ready for a fight. "I'm right here." Spike was sitting on the floor against the wall of the crypt. Buffy knew this because of the two yellow eyes that glowed back at her.

"What are you doing sitting in the dark? You nearly gave me a heart attack." Buffy took a step towards him.

"Just waiting for you, luv." He rose and stepped into the ray of moonlight. His face was human looking and Buffy stared up into his deep blue eyes. 

"Well I'm here, so let's get going." She started for the door but Spike reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

"Don't think that's such a good idea." He looked into her eyes; sorrow twisting his undead heart. Just when he found her he was losing her again. The thought fueled his anger and for an instant his eyes sparked yellow.

Buffy was mesmerized as his eyes changed from despair to fury to resignation. He had always had expressive eyes, but now they were so clear, so alive, as if some intangible element had been missing before and was now back. She frowned as his words finally registered. "What? What do you mean, not a good idea?"

"I'm not going on patrol with you." He let go of her arm and walked over to his TV watching chair. Picking up the worn duffle bag, he turned back to her.

She looked at the bag then back at him. Realization swept over her face. "You're leaving? No. You are so not leaving. You can't; I need you." Even a few months ago she would have struggled to say that to him, although it was as true then as now. She had spent so much time denying his love, denying her own feelings, she made a promise to herself she wouldn't hold back anymore. 

"You need someone I can no longer be. Without the chip, I'm just too dangerous. I can't control it, can't deny what I am. I'm a vampire, sooner or later" He looked at her tenderly, realizing that even now he was hurting her. "Giles was right; I would try to kill you." He smiled a bittersweet smile and took a step toward the door.

Buffy blocked his path and gazed up at him determinedly. "What happened?" She wasn't about to lose him without a fight.

"Nothing happened." He looked away from her.

"Don't lie Spike, do what you're good at. Tell me the truth I don't want to hear." 

His head snapped up and he glared at her. "You want the truth? Fine. The truth is I'm a killer. Last night I came across a girl who had been attacked. She was covered in blood." His eyes glowed yellow and he stopped to take in a large breath, remembering that night. "It was glorious, the blood, the fear; I reveled in it. Enjoyed it. Wanted to take her and drain every last wonderful drop of blood from her body."

Buffy refused to let his words disgust her. She stared back at him, her eyes never wavering. "But you didn't."

It wasn't a question. Spike looked in her eyes and realized she knew. She wasn't asking him if he did, she was telling him she knew he didn't. Baffled he replied, "No. But I wanted to."

"But you didn't." Buffy repeated firmly. "Don't you see Spike? It doesn't matter how much you wanted to. People want things everyday that they shouldn't have. What matters is that in the end you didn't do it. You controlled yourself." She took the bag from his hand, and put it back on the chair. She walked back up to him all business. "On the way over, Giles warned me that he'd heard about a vamp nest down by the docks. I'm taking them out tonight, and you're going to help." 

He knew that look. It was her 'don't even try to argue 'cause I'm not taking no for an answer' look. Both he and the Scoobies had learned a long time ago that there was no defense against it. The battle was lost. Spike frowned at her and shook his head. "You are bloody stubborn, you know that Slayer?"

"And you wouldn't have me any other way." She gave him a quick light kiss on the lips. "Now let's go."

**************   
Bane~ "That which destroys life, which is poisonous, destructive, evil, dangerous."  
***   
There was always sound at the docks, the cry of a seagull, the whispering caress of waves against the pier, the clang of rigging against a mast. It was a constant symphony many found relaxing and peaceful. Tonight there was only silence. It was as if the entire area was holding its breath, aware that something was about to happen. 

Buffy hardly ever went to the docks, vampires usually nested closer to town. But this group was different; they were here on a mission. The leader of the group was fairly big, and very old, even for a vampire. He had volunteered to lead this group of seven against the Slayer, knowing full well he might pay for failure with his life. 

He had been instructed not to take his mission lightly. This was no ordinary Slayer. Not only had she cheated death and managed to live far longer than any before her, but she had managed to recruit one of their own to help in her battles. The vampire Spike was well known as having been one of the baddest vampires that ever walked. He was also known as a traitor. 

The leader of this group knew him as a former friend. They shared the same passion for the unknown, the fight they weren't sure they'd win. When they first met it had been in one such fight. They had barely managed to survive it, and when it was all over they were both flying high off the experience. They decided they made a good team and spent 20 years spreading mayhem and fear through Italy.

But that was lifetimes ago. Now, as he looked out the warehouse window at the moonlit waters, Bane told himself that he would enjoy killing the vampire who allied himself with the Slayer. He turned his head slightly as one of his scouts approached and whispered to him. "They're here."

Bane nodded and his scout left him. After another moment gazing at the waters, he turned to the others who were sitting behind him, chatting about battles past. One by one, they noticed their leader's gaze and slowly stood and gathered around him.

"This is what you have trained for. Remember your mission; kill the Slayer if you can, but Spike will not leave in one piece. Go." They quickly spread out and disappeared into the darkness to wait for their prey to enter the empty warehouse. 

************   
Buffy and Spike had no idea what was waiting for them in the shadows of the building. To them this was just another vampire nest in a long string of nests they had defeated. Sure, it was in an unusual area of town, but that didn't mean anything. As Buffy walked confidently up to the door, she began to frown. By the time her hand was on the doorknob, she was no longer sure of herself. Something didn't feel right. She turned and whispered behind her, "Spike?"

"Yea, luv, I feel it too." There was something going on but he couldn't tell what. All he knew was the demon within him was screaming to be let out. 

Buffy opened the door and stepped inside, her Slayer senses tingling. In the center of the huge room were six empty chairs surrounding a table lit by a single floor lamp. All the windows had were blacked out, but on her left, the moonlight streamed through a single clear window, and lit up a man sitting with his back to her in an oversized chair. The rest of the area was pitch black, but her senses were screaming that the darkness held danger.

She turned toward the man in the chair, keeping part of her awareness open to the vast area around her. She knew she could handle herself under most normal circumstances. This, however, suddenly did not feel normal. She was glad Spike was with her and drew from his presence to give her voice a confident edge she didn't quite feel. "So where's all your buddies? Did they hear I was coming and hightail it out of here 'cause I'm thinking that's a pretty smart idea, one you should have thought of."

She continued her slow approach, and though she couldn't see his face yet, his voice betrayed a smile. "Oh, they're around, don't worry your pretty little head 'bout that."

The moment he heard the vampire's voice, Spike knew they were in big trouble. His mind flashed back to several of their adventures together and his demon smiled at the delightful memories. "Bane?" Spike stepped around Buffy and as he did pointed to his back. She immediately understood the message and spun to keep an eye on the darkness. Whoever Bane was, Buffy knew Spike wanted him to himself. 

The man slowly stood and turned to face Spike. "You remember?"

"Course I remember, mate." Spike tried to keep his voice and attitude casual, at least till he could find out what his old buddy was up to. "I never forget my friends."

Bane chuckled in distain. "Friend? Is that how you think of me? I'd love to hear your definition of friend in that case. 'Cause last time I checked friends didn't betray each other." 

"I never betrayed you." Spike said firmly.

"Not when we were together, no. But you've betrayed our kind by allying yourself with the Slayer. And that means you've betrayed me as well. And that means we are no longer friends." His demon face came forward, eyes glowing yellowy gold, the bridge of his nose and brow extending, and teeth becoming long and jagged.

Spike braced himself for an attack and allowed his own demon to show. "Alright. Let's do this." He closed the distance between them in the blink of an eye. 

Buffy heard them roar behind her and as she turned to see, a vampire jumped out of the darkness at her. Her head spun back around, but not fast enough to see the fist aimed at her nose. As her head snapped back and she stumbled, she grabbed her stake from its place, wedged in the back of her jeans. 

She glared at the smiling vampire. "You'd better savor that memory, 'cause it won't happen again." As she took a step toward him, she sensed movement behind her. She instantly changed her forward momentum into a backward roll as the vampire leapt off the table behind her and missed her completely, instead taking out the one she had been facing. 

As he turned to glare at her, she rose to her feet and smiled back. "Nice work. Sure you're not on my side?" 

He spun toward her, fury enhancing his features. "That's it. Guys" he called to the shadows behind him, "we're taking her out now!" Suddenly Buffy found herself in the center of a vampire storm. They were coming at her from all directions and she was struggling to save her own life.

Spike heard the commotion behind him but he had his hands full. Bane was much older than he was, and stronger as well. Spike was using every trick in the book to keep him from getting the upper hand. Finally, Bane managed to get behind him and grabbed his head in a vice-like grip. 

"Well, Spike. I must say I'm quite impressed. You put in a good show. I was starting to wonder if I'd really be able to take you after all." Spike thrashed slightly and tried to elbow him. "Now none of that." Bane warned, tightening his grip. "Wouldn't want me to twist your head off before we've had a chance to chat."

Spike relaxed a bit. "Chat 'bout what?" 

Bane pushed him towards the center of the room where Buffy was putting in, what was literally, the fight of her life. Spike took one look at the odds against her and became very still. His head lowered slightly and the yellow eyes of his demon glared at her. She was absolutely stunning, a vision of movement and light. He smiled at her deadly beauty.

Bane misinterpreted this and relaxed his grip on Spike ever so slightly. "You see it don't you? She is going down tonight. You were supposed to die with her but I might be persuaded to let you go, if you can convince me that you no longer care for her safety."

Spike leaned slightly forward and licked his lips, as one of the vampires she was fighting landed a blow to her chin, causing blood to spray from her cut lip. 

Spike growled low in his throat and breathed in the scent of her fear. An evil smile spread across his face as her kicks and punches became noticeably slower and more sloppy. 

Bane saw his reaction and looked up to enjoy the battle himself. In that instant Spike grabbed Bane's arm and spun, twisting it behind him. Quickly pulling a stake out of his coat, he buried it deep in his former friends' chest.

As their leader's dust settled to the floor, all but one charged Spike. The one that stayed found himself hard pressed to defeat the tired Slayer. She had seen Spike's actions out of the corner of her eye and it gave her an adrenaline rush that kept her going, though her muscles cried to stop. After she finally managed to dust her opponent, Buffy turned to find Spike.

He was standing with his back to her, watching the last vampire's dust fall. As she approached, he spun around, his yellow eyes burning into her. She was out of breath as she drew near he watched her chest rise and fall with fascination.

"Are you alright?" She asked. She noticed that though his shirt was ripped and a small cut could be seen on his chest, he seemed relatively unscathed. He looked up into her eyes and she froze. Gone was the Spike she knew. Even with his game face on she could usually still see or sense some part of the man she loved. Now there was only demon.

"Yes." He answered huskily and quickly took her in his arms. He bent down and with the tip of his tongue licked the blood off her cut lip.

Her whole body shivered and she pulled him to her, kissing him hard. As his arms wrapped around her body, Buffy lost herself in his kiss, his arms, his presence. It was a primal feeling Spike had kept hidden from her. In all their time together he had only showed her glimpses of it. But the Slayer in her craved more. She knew no matter how raw and violent their passions became he would never truly hurt her. Now she was getting the full force of his demon self and was loving every minute of it. 

She arched back baring her neck for him. He kissed a trail down her neck then drew back slightly to gaze at the pulse beating heavily just under her skin. He was lost in the sensations his vampire body was giving him. Her breath, her pulse, her heat; the sound of her heartbeat pounded in his head. He smiled, letting his jagged teeth show, and bent down slowly, preparing to bite her.

As his teeth grazed her neck Buffy moaned. "Yes. Oh Spike." Her voice broke through the desire filled haze in his mind. He stopped and drew back to look at her face. It was a study in ecstasy. She was so lost in her feelings and her trust of him. 

Her eyes fluttered and she opened them to look at him. "Why did you stop?" she panted.

He frowned, his face flickering between human and vampire. "Do you know what I was about to do?" Of course she didn't know. He hated to tell her because he knew that would be then end of them, probably the end of him as well.

"Yes," she replied huskily. She drew a finger lightly over his lips, staring at them with a hunger he'd never seen in her before. 

"No, luv. I don't think you do." He stepped back from her, his human features finally gaining control of his face.

"Yes, Spike, I do. You were going to bite me." She saw the shock on his face and rushed to explain. "I know you can bite someone without draining them and without turning them. I trust you enough to let you." She stepped closer and placed a hand on his chest. She looked up at him with heat in her eyes. "I want you to."

He smiled at her tenderly. She had no idea what that meant to him, that she trusted him that much. But he didn't. Without the chip, and with everything he'd been feeling since finding out it was gone, he wasn't sure he could trust himself that much. Not with her life. "I know pet. But it's just the heat of the moment. Tomorrow you'll regret it, and when the Scoobies find out what I'd donewell, vamps like Bane would be the least of my worries."

"You don't get it, do you?" She shook her head in disbelief. "How could you not get it? You. The one who understands me better than anyone, including myself." 

She stepped close to him again and though he could tell her heart rate and breathing were returning to normal, she still smelled of desire to him. "I've wanted this for a long time. I just didn't trust you enough till now."

He touched her cheek and sighed as she closed her eyes, nuzzling against his palm. "Well that's just bloody irony for you in' nit? 'Cause luv, the thing isI did trust myself enoughuntil now." 

She felt his hand withdraw and she kept her eyes closed, breathing in the sent of him lingering there. When she opened her eyes he was gone. She looked around the warehouse frantically, but he was nowhere to be found. As fear pooled in the pit of her stomach, she ran toward his crypt. 

***************   
Spike knew he didn't have long, probably only a few short minutes before Buffy would catch up to him. He entered his crypt at full speed, grabbed his duffle bag still sitting on the chair, and headed out the door. He hated leaving her like this but he knew it was the only way. Buffy was a fighter and he knew that now that she trusted him so completely she would fight to keep him in Sunnydale. He was afraid that fight would end with him taking her life.   
He had felt it when he held her at the warehouse. That nearly overwhelming desire to taste her blood; to drink from her and lose himself in her. He had managed to resist, but just barely. He couldn't take the chance that he would be able to resist a second time. He loved her too much.

And yet somehow his love for Buffy wasn't enough. Angrily, he walked faster. As he approached his car and threw the bag in back, he paused to look back at the cemetery. He remembered all the times they'd fought against each other and with each other. "I'm gonna miss you, pet. But this is something I have to dofor your own good." He would do anything for Buffy, and if that meant getting outside help, then so be it. He quickly got in, peeled away from the curb and headed for the nearest highway entrance.

****************   
Buffy was frantic by the time she reached Willow's. She had been everywhere she could think of looking for Spike. First stop had been his crypt. When his missing bag confirmed her suspicions that he was leaving, she nearly broke down then and there. Instead, she allowed anger to fuel her and she began a systematic search of town and the nearby areas. It was almost sunup now and as she knocked on Willow's door, the realization that she may have lost him forever gripped her mind in terror.

A sleepy-eyed Willow opened the door and as soon as she saw Buffy's face she woke completely up. "What's wrong? Is Dawn ok?"

Buffy brushed past her and began pacing in the living room. "Dawn's fine. Spike's gone."

"What? How do you know that?" Willow closed the door and joined her friend in the living room. 

"BecauseI just do is all. I've looked everywhere, he's not in his crypt, not at the Bronze, not even the Magic Box or Giles'." She stopped pacing and turned to Willow. "Please, Will. You have to help me. I can't just let him leave. I I love him."

Willow sat down hard on the couch. "Oh."

Buffy sat next to her. "I know it's kind of um"

"Shocking?" Willow supplied.

"Well I was gonna say surprising"

"No no I think shocking is the word to use here." Willow did look shocked for a moment. She began to frown and looked over at Buffy. "Actually not so shocking. You know, I kind of saw this coming."

"You did?" Now it was Buffy's turn to be shocked. "How could you? I didn't even see it coming."

"Of course not. You're too close to it. Add in your stubborn refusal to do what's good for you andpresto, no seeing." Willow gave a small smile.

Buffy returned it. "Yea. Guess you're right. So, what do I do about it now? It's kind of hard to love someone who's running from you."

"He didn't say anything that would give you some clue as to where he went?" Willow stood and walked over to a bookshelf.

"No. Just that he didn't trust himself with me without the chip."

Willow turned back to her with a large book in her hands. "Wait a minute. Spike left because he didn't trust himself with you? As in didn't trust himself not to hurt you?"

"That's the gist of it. But I know he wouldn't hurt me. I told him that. I trust him, even when he doesn't trust himself." 

"Wow." Willow stated.

"Yea, deep huh?" Buffy smiled then noticed the book in her hand. "What's that?"

Willow sighed and went to sit next to her. "I think I can find out at least what direction he went in, but it's going to take time. And I need you to get me something of his." She began thumbing through the pages of the book.

"Ok. Um I could run back to his crypt and see if he left anything." Buffy looked hopefully at her and when she nodded, stood and started for the door.

"It has to be something personal. Something he was close to, both physically and emotionally. The more the better." Willow placed the book on the table, open to the page she'd need.

"Personal, right. I won't be long." Buffy disappeared out the door.

Willow tip-toed to her bedroom and peeked in on a dead-to-the-world Tara. She smiled tenderly at her, then went to the bathroom to retrieve some herbs stored in the medicine cabinet. As she was about to open the mirror she paused. Something wasn't right. She looked at her reflection and was dimly aware that her eyes were the wrong color.

Her reflection gazed back with black void eyes. Frowning, it waited for Willow to speak first.

After a few moments, Willow shook her head and spoke quickly. "The time is almost at hand, and none too soon."

"You had trouble gaining control that time."

"I know. It's her worry over the Slayer. The stress is causing her to be more aware, making it harder for me to take over."

"What do you need?" The reflection asked.

"Call the Tallinach." Willow's voice was hard as steel.

"Are you sure? It is unreliable after it's last encounter with the Slayer." Willow's reflection frowned in worry of it's own.

"It's not for her. The Slayer will be leaving town soon. The Tallinach will be needed after she goes."

The reflection looked confused for only a moment before it realized what it's counterpart meant. "For the witch. To distract her."

"Yes. The dreams should work well enough for that. Go, tell them to await my signal one last time."

The reflection nodded and it's eyes returned to normal. 

Willow shook her head and looked around slightly dazed. "That's weird. Guess I need more sleep." She opened the cabinet and began looking through the items.

****************   
Spike drove like the proverbial bat as he shot down the deserted highway. The events of the last two days plagued his mind; finding out about the chip, saving the injured girl, the fight with his old buddy, the blinding desire that had enveloped him when he had held Buffy in his arms.

He cringed at the memory. That moment had decided things for Spike. As much as he loved Buffy he had nearly taken her life, nearly given in to the overwhelming desire to drink from her. It was at that moment Spike realized what he had to do. He was desperate not to lose Buffy, and desperate times called for desperate measures.

As the DeSoto cleared the top of a hill, and Spike saw the twinkling lights of the city appear in front of him, he muttered to himself, "And this is one bloody desperate measure." He stepped on the gas and the car plunged into the dark outskirts of Los Angeles.

End ch 2

Please give feedback. How else will I know if you want more unless you do? :) 

  


   [1]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=362704



	3. LSOD Chapter 3

  
  
  
Spoilers: Takes place after "The Gift"  
Rated: PG-13  
Note: _Words in Italics are thoughts_  
Standard Disclaimer: The characters in this story do not belong to me, they belong to the Buffy The Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon. I am only using them for my story, and no copyright infringement is intended. Please don't sue, I have no money. No, really.  
  
Acknowledgements: As always, my thanks and admiration to Tracy and Abby. It's hard to find the words to express how much they have helped me, and how much I owe them. They're not just my beta's any more, I consider them friends.   
  
Synopsis: Sequel to Dreams Come True. Buffy and Spike's relationship is progressing nicely untill it's threatened by the actions of the Watcher's Council. Spike is left to turn to outside help to get his new...or rather, return to his old...problem under control. Meanwhile, the dark spirit hiding in Willow finally makes it's move, attempting to completely control her... and her power.  
  
**********   
  
  


Buffy slammed open the door to Spike's crypt and cringed at the hollow sound it made. The noise echoed though the empty chamber, and realization hit Buffy for the millionth time that night, that he was really gone. Tears threatened to fill her eyes, but she fought them back, as she had every other time that night. She reminded herself he was not gone, but running scared, frightened that his demon cravings would get out of control. He had done the only thing he could think of to protect her, leave. He was wrong to do so, and when she finally caught up to him, she would be sure to make that very clear. 

She stepped around the chamber, looking for any personal item they could use in the location spell Willow would perform. Spike didn't have many possessions to begin with, and he had done a good job clearing out what little he did have. She was about to head down to the underground level, when she glanced at the TV, and noticed something small and silver resting on top of it. She walked over, and as she neared it she began to frown. The last thing she expected to see was sitting there with no note, yet speaking volumes to her. 

She picked up the silver skull ring and turned it over as memories came flooding back. Ages ago, it seemed, Willow had cast a spell that had backfired in so many ways. One of which made Buffy and Spike get engaged. The funny thing was that it had done more than that. It had opened up a floodgate of emotion in both the Slayer and the vampire, and they had fallen head over heels in love as well. Spike had given this ring to her as an engagement ring. When the spell had been broken, their hate for each other returned and she had thrown the ring at him in anger, never imagining that he would keep it. 

Buffy had made everyone promise never to talk about the forced engagement, and for the most part no one had. When Spike and Buffy had first started getting together for real, they had joked about it a couple of times. It seemed so long ago that they had wanted each other dead. That had changed slowly over time as Spike had changed. 

Spike had never mentioned the ring, so Buffy figured it had gotten lost. Now she realized he had been holding on to it. She knew he would never expect her to wear it again, but leaving it like this was his way of telling her it wasn't over. No matter how strange things got, or hopeless they seemed, Spike truly loved her. His love was real. No spell had created it and leaving her would not break it.

She grabbed the ring tightly and ran to Willow's. They needed to get the spell done so she could be on her way to finding him. She didn't want to waste another minute.

*********************  

Spike barely got the car into the warehouse, as the first rays of dawn hit the valley. He quickly closed the huge rusty doors and turned to view his surroundings. The place was obviously deserted, but for how long was hard to tell. Spike hoped it would stay that way at least until nightfall.

He walked back to his car and fished out his spare pack of cigarettes from the bag in the back seat. Lighting one, he took a long drag and looked around, muttering to himself, "This is gonna be one bloody long day." Shaking his head he went off to find somewhere he could be hidden from view, yet still keep an eye on his ride. 

As he sat with his back to the wall, hidden between stacks of boxes and an old band saw, he thought about the gift he had left Buffy. He figured she'd found it by now and hoped she'd understand the importance of it. He loved her, more than anything. Their spell-induced engagement may have been torture to her at the time, but he had savored every minute of it, though he would never tell anyone that. In the dark times that followed, when he realized his feelings for her, and it seemed they would never be returned, he had clung to the memory of her arms around him, her eyes looking into his with love instead of hatred. Those precious memories were what had given him hope that someday… someday maybe, she would be his.

He had kept the ring safely hidden, even though he knew she would probably never wear it again. In fact he wasn't exactly sure why he kept it, the words 'sentimental value' never crossed his mind. He told himself he just liked the ring. It was after all a skull, a symbol of death, fitting for a Big Bad Vampire like he claimed to be. 

As he had been about to walk out his crypt door, he had stopped, realizing that he couldn't leave her with nothing. That's what the others had done, those men in her life who had thought so little of her as to leave. He growled in anger at the thought of anyone hurting Buffy. He was different than them, and he would spend the rest of his un-life proving it to her if need be. So he had left the ring, along with a silent prayer that she would understand its meaning; He loved her and would return someday.

Spike put his cigarette out on the cement floor, then leaned his head back against the wall and drifted off into a semi-sleep state, visions of his beloved dancing through his mind.

**********************  

When Buffy arrived at Willow's, she quickly handed over the ring. Willow frowned at it then at Buffy. "Is this…"

"The ring Spike gave me when you did that spell that made us get engaged? Yea." Buffy sat down on one side of the couch. The coffee table was laid out with a map of the U.S., a candle at each edge of the map, designating the four compass directions, and a small dish in the center.

"I can't believe he kept it this whole time. Where did you find it?" Willow sat next to her and placed the ring in the center of the dish.

"On top of the TV. He left it as a message to me. He didn't want to leave, Will. I know it. He just felt he had to. And now I have to find him, and help him."

"Are you sure Buffy? I mean, if he feels he's that much of a danger…maybe he's right. Maybe he should be alone." Willow hated to upset her friend but the thought of Spike un-chipped sent shivers down her spine. She remembered clearly when he had been inches from biting her. The only thing that had stopped him was the chip.

"Willow, I know Spike. Number one, he would never hurt me. And B., if he's having that much trouble controlling himself, the last thing he needs is to be alone. I have to find him and I have to help him, I won't let him do this alone." Buffy gave Willow her best resolve face and hoped it would be enough to end the debate and start the spell.

It was. Willow sighed and turned to the table in front of her. She closed her eyes and muttered something in Latin. Buffy watched as the ring began to wobble in the dish. Willow frowned with her eyes still closed, and spoke the Latin phrase louder. The ring wobbled a moment more, then slid to the South Side of the dish. Willow opened her eyes and smiled. "He went South." She paused and frowned at Buffy. "What's South?"

"I don't know. Not much really except… oh God… L.A. He went to L.A." She jumped up and began pacing. "He couldn't have. That would be… just… so stupid! He couldn't… there's no way. He couldn't have."

"Couldn't have what?" Willow asked sheepishly. She felt something was building in Buffy and would be exploding anytime now.

"Why would he do something like that? That is the last person he should be talking to… probably won't get much of a chance to talk, actually. Probably kill him before he knows what hit him. Stupid, stupid!"

Willow was at a loss. Usually able to pick up on Buffy's train of thought, for some reason this time she was on a completely different track. "I don't get it. Why would he go see Drusilla? She'll only make his cravings worse won't she?"

"Drusilla? Wha… no, Willow… Angel. He went to see Angel." She started laughing at her friend's mistake until a thought occurred to her. "Oh, no. I hadn't even thought of that. What if Dru finds out he's in town? I'm not sure he can resist her, not in the state he's in now." She grabbed the ring off the dish and headed for the door, in full Slayer mode. "If she touches one hair on his head, I'll stake her before she can blink." And with that she was gone.

Willow stared after the door for several seconds, complete shock registering on her face. "Angel. Wow. That should be interesting."

"What should be interesting?" A sleepy voice queried from the doorway. Willow turned to see Tara standing there in her pajamas.

Willow smiled. "Nothing honey. It's still early, why don't you go back to sleep and I'll wake you when your breakfast in bed is ready. I'll tell you all about it then."

Tara smiled and turned, heading back to bed with a mumbled "ok.".

Willow began gathering up the items on the coffee table to put them away. She tip toed into the bedroom and placed the small dish back on the dresser. As she glanced in the mirror she thought she saw something strange in her eyes. She leaned in closer but everything looked normal. "Weird. I really need more sleep." 

She went to the bathroom for a drink of water. As she was about to pick up the glass on the sink counter, she paused, then picked up the gold amulet still lying there. She looked in the mirror and was shocked to find black void eyes staring back at her. Before she could react, the world went dark and her head drooped.

After a moment it lifted again, a new light in her eyes and a sinister smile on her face. "It is time." She turned to the mirror and spoke to her reflection, as she put the golden pendant around her neck. "Finally, the time has come to claim our prize. Tell them to call the Tallinach now. We will begin today."

"Now?" Willow's reflection sounded unsure and a little frightened. "But, the Slayer has not left town yet. Shouldn't we wait until we are sure she is gone? What if she finds out?"

Willow's face glared at her reflection. "You worry too much… and are starting to annoy me." The threat in her voice was clear. "Do not forget your place." When the reflection bowed its head she continued. "The Slayer is out of the picture, for now. She has gone to find the vampire. But they won't be gone forever. We need to move now or risk everything." 

She turned a powerful stare on her reflection. "Go, have them call the Tallinach. I will give it its instructions when it arrives… and then…" She placed a hand to the pendant hanging from her throat. "The possession of Willow… and her power… will truly begin." She began laughing as the reflection faded from the mirror, now showing the tub and wall behind Willow.

**

Minutes later Willow was standing in the living room, the golden pendant still around her neck and giving off a faint glow. She turned as a dark shadow stretched out from the counter's edge and formed a humanoid shape next to her. "Tallinach. You were once part of a powerful group… feared in the human world, respected in the demon world… until the Slayer and her friends defeated you, nearly killing you all. Forcing you to flee for your life… reducing you to lurking in shadows… afraid… alone. 

The shadow lowered it's head for an instant, then straightened and leaned toward Willow, anger evident in it's voice. "I know this. What I do not know, is why you have brought me here."

Willow smiled a pitying smile. "You wish to return to your former glory, regain those counterparts you have lost? I can do that for you. I have within my grasp a power which will make anything possible. All you need to do is put that girl," she pointed to the closed bedroom door, "in a dream of torture… until I tell you to stop." She smiled at the black figure.

"Done" The darkness moved to the door and silently melted into and through it. After a few moments of waiting, Willow saw it return. "The witch is mine. What now?"

Willow smiled. "Now, the fun begins." She went to a cabinet in the living room and began rummaging through the shelves, looking for something. "You must stay here and keep her from being disturbed. I don't know how long I will be gone for, but she must not be woken during that time."

"You … don't want me to kill her?" The Tallinach's head tilted in puzzlement.

"No!" She turned, pointing a finger at the dark form. "She must remain as she is, alive, until I get back." She turned back to her search. "Her friends may come looking for her if I'm gone too long. Make sure you send them away and do not alert them to your presence. Ahh! There you are." She reached to the very back of the bottom shelf and pulled out a stone tablet with a woman's face carved on one side. 

She stood and turned toward the Tallinach, the tablet tucked safely under one arm. "Remember my instructions. Keep the witch alive and in the dream until I return. Then, when my power is secure, I will give you your dream… to be the powerful Tallinach once again, restored, complete." She turned and headed quickly out the door.

The Tallinach nodded its head in thought, then turned back to the bedroom.

**

Just as the sun kissed the horizon, Willow arrived at the ritual grounds. A nearly perfect circular clearing in the middle of the woods, with a waist high stone table on the side opposite the setting sun. She ran across the small clearing and up to the table, then placed the tablet face up on it. She stood facing away from the sun with her arms out to each side, palms up, and began chanting in a low voice. 

As the minutes ticked by and the sun set behind the hills, the light dimmed and changed the feel of the place from a sunny day picnic, to a shadow filled nightmare. Willow's chanting grew slowly louder and her amulet began to glow once more. As the top arc of the sun disappeared beyond the hills, her eyes flew open and her chanting stopped. 

In a dark voice she intoned, "Powers of the underworld, of demons and death. I come before you as I promised, the witch's power within my reach. I beseech you, grant me my own form and will, that I may confront the witch, and take her power to use as you command." She bowed her head, raising her arms higher. "I await you."

A sudden wind picked up, swirling the leaves around her. Slowly, the tablet on the table rose, and moved back from Willow. It hovered, with the carved face directly opposite her. The rectangular shaped stone began to elongate, it's lower edge stretching downward, a full body being carved in it's wake. Moments later, a complete person of stone stood on the other side of the table from Willow.

Willow raised her head and dark mist flowed from her eyes into the eyes of the stone woman. When the transfer was complete the stone softened and became flesh, flowing robes of black and gold, and her shoulder length wavy hair stirred by the dissipating breeze. Soon all was still once more.

Willow… the real Willow, body and soul… blinked several times and looked around her fearfully. "Where am I? What… what's happening?"

"Calm yourself child." The woman spoke soothingly. "I brought you here. You are safe now, no harm can come to you in this sacred place." She smiled tenderly and noticed Willow relax just a touch.

"Where is this place? And who are you? And… and what do you mean safe 'now'?" Willow looked at the woman.

"My, but you are full of questions, aren't you my dear? For now you must trust me that this is a place of safety, hidden from the eyes of the evil ones, sacred to those of your kind."

"My kind?" Willows senses were tingling. She could feel the power around her. "You mean witches?"

"Yes. But not just witches. There are many who study the magic arts. Some… like you… are very powerful, yet lack the proper guidance. When that causes danger… as unguided power always will eventually… I am sent to bring them here, for council and help in righting their wrong."

"So you're like what… a guardian angel for witches?"

The woman laughed, a gentle tinkling sound that made Willow smile despite her fear. "Oh my dear child. You do have much to learn. A witch's guardian angel is little more than an overgrown cherub with a few parlor tricks up their sleeve. Goodness no dear, I'm far more advanced than that. I'm only called in the most dire of circumstances… such as what you now find yourself in." She stepped to the side of the table and raised one arm, gesturing to the empty space in front of Willow. A large mirror faded into view above the table, framed in a black and gold cloth, matching the robes the woman wore.

It took Willow a moment to realize that, though the trees behind her were clearly visible in the mirror… she was not. The woman appeared at her side and gently placed a hand on her invisible shoulder. "Do not be frightened child. Your absent reflection will return once we have solved your problem. It is a necessary side affect of the amulet you wear."

Willow looked down, noticing the gold pendant for the first time since waking in this strange place. She placed her hands over it. "The amulet makes me invisible? Why?"

The woman's brief frown went unnoticed. She forced a smile and replied, "Time is short my dear. We must focus on the problem at hand… Tara."

At the sound of her love's name, Willow's head snapped up with a fierce look of determination on her face. "What's wrong with Tara?"

The woman's face became serious as well. "See for yourself, my dear." She turned her head and waved her arm toward the mirror.

The surface image distorted and dissolved into a black void of swirling gray mist. Willow squinted at it, trying to find some familiar form in the darkness. Slowly her eyes opened wide and began filling with tears as an image presented itself. It was Tara, but not like she'd ever seen her, not even when Glory had taken her mind and left her a lost shell of the girl she once was. 

Her face was contorted in the most horrible mask of fear and terror. Tears streamed freely down her face, and though no sound could be heard, she was obviously screaming. She was reaching desperately for something unseen with one hand outstretched, fingers stretching to their limit. The other hand was clutched to her chest. It was deformed into a hideous claw of bony white fingers, the tips bloodied and raw.

After a moment Tara stopped screaming and her outstretched hand slowly dropped. A look of complete hopelessness and despair overcame her expression. She visibly withdrew into herself, her knees pulled up to her chest, face buried behind them, arms circling her shaking legs. She turned over and lay in the fetal position, unmoving except for the occasional tremor.

Willow stared unbelievingly at the horrible image before her, her mind trying to figure out what had happened. It was impossible to think of anything that could have done this to her. 

She felt a breakdown coming on. Her mind was screaming to copy her lover's position, curled up, hiding from the reality of what she was being shown. In the instant she thought that, another part of her took charge. Power coursed through her body and mind, and she turned to the woman who obviously was her only key to helping Tara.

When the woman saw the look on Willow's face, she felt a momentary panic. Black eyes stared right into her. The air crackled with electricity around them, She could feel it, the raw power this young witch contained was pushing to be let out. She had no idea of her full potential. But when she spoke, it was obvious she was fully aware that her power was great. Her voice low with anger, she spoke in a slow even manner, leaving no room for argument. "Tell me where she is."

The woman smiled sympathetically at her. "You can not go where she is, my dear. But I can help you get her out of there."

**********************  

The day Spike spent in the warehouse had been thankfully uneventful. He had even managed to catch a couple hours sleep here and there, but each time he dreamt of Buffy. She was there in his arms, and he was promising he would never leave her again. Each time she would look up at him so trustingly, and each time would end with his fangs buried in her neck. That's when he would jerk awake and vow not to fall asleep again.

By the time night fell he was haggard and miserable, unsure if his plan to ask Angel for help was really such a good idea. But it was the only idea he had. And so he gathered himself up, opened the warehouse's door and peeled out into the night.

Spike thought about the events of the last couple days. From the moment he knew his chip was out, he had felt it. Tickling the back of his mind, itching at the edge of his consciousness. The craving. The instinct that told him to go out and hunt. It had, in fact, always been there, but while he had the chip he had been able to dismiss it. Like the ring you always wear, eventually you hardly feel it. But now it was tightening, becoming more and more uncomfortable as time went by. Soon, he knew, he wouldn't be able to ignore it. It would consume him; it was after all, his nature.

Spike had thought he could handle it on his own. He thought he loved Buffy so much, of course he'd never do anything that she would disapprove of. What he didn't count on was how strong his demon was, and how the craving for human blood had been controlled, but was by no means tamed. Buffy had been right; Spike was like a serial killer in prison, and now that the chip was gone, now that the killer had been granted parole, he was struggling desperately to keep it together for her. 

So he drove the busy streets of Los Angeles, looking for the one person who could help him. The one vampire who could understand the pain of going against your very nature to do what you know to be the right thing: Angel. Spike knew he was risking all his parts coming to see him. The last time they met had been… well, not friendly. But Spike was counting on Angel's white-hat sense of duty. Because when it came right down to it, Angel would always do the right thing. Spike just had to convince him that was what he wanted to do as well. Spike hoped Angel wouldn't stake him before he got a chance to plead his case.

There was one more problem; had Angel finally moved on, or was he still not really over Buffy? If he wasn't, Spike knew he had no chance. All the reasons in the world would not convince him Spike was right for her, he would, in fact, probably stake him for even suggesting such a thing. Spike frowned and hit the gas. He just wanted to find him and get it over with.

Spike stopped at a bar he had used for info the last time he was in town, and they directed him to the Hyperion Hotel, Angel's new residence. Spike parked at the curb directly across the street and looked up at the huge building. "Well what do you know? Looks like Peaches is moving up in the world." He frowned at the familiar nickname. He realized he was going to have to play nice if he was going to get any help. Problem was, it was just too easy to slip into the old ways…too easy, and too fun. He sighed and reached for his cigarettes, not sure if he should just go in and see if Angel was there, or wait to see if he showed up. He didn't have to wait long though, moments later Angel, and a shorter man carrying a large battle ax, walked around the corner and into the building. Spike lit his cigarette, got out of the car, and as he crossed the street swore an oath to Buffy to try his best. "For you, luv. Always for you."

***************  

Angel and Wesley entered the hotel's door with smiles on their faces. Cordeila looked up from the phone book in front of her. "That was quick."

"Yes, it was, wasn't it?" Wesley was positively gleeful as he placed the battleaxe on the counter. "Well, I suppose that's what happens when your visions provide the right details."

"Yea, he was right where you said he would be. How did you do that?" Angel somehow managed to continue smiling as he looked at Cordeila in confusion.

"I didn't do anything. It felt like a regular vision." She shrugged then smiled her friends. "Just happened to get lucky, I guess."

"Well, let's just hope our luck holds up for the rest of the night. I could use an easy one after the past week." Wesley said as he moved to pick the battleaxe up again to put it away.

"I'd say that's pretty much out of the question." Angel stated in a somber voice, looking over Wesley's shoulder.

Wesley turned to follow his and Cordeila's gaze toward the front door. There stood Spike, bag in one had, lit cigarette in the other. They watched in disbelief as he raised the cigarette to his mouth and took a deep drag. As he blew out the smoke he smiled at them. "Hey gang. Did you miss me?"

"Spike." Angel stated in a threatening tone.

Wesley raised the ax slightly, holding it at battle ready in both hands, as he took a step toward the door. "So… you're the infamous William the Bloody?" He frowned and looked him up and down. Hateful sarcasm in every word as he quipped, "Funny… I thought you'd be taller." He paused. "What are you doing here?"

Cordeila tossed Angel a stake, as he stepped up next to Wesley. "That doesn't really mater Wesley, he's not staying if he wants to live another five seconds."

Cordeila came up beside Angel and looked at the small bottle of holy water in her hands. "You know, I was kind of saving this for a special occasion." She looked at Spike matter-of-factly. "I guess this counts."

Spike looked around and saw hatred, anger, and a lust for revenge. He quickly decided that joking around was not the way to go. Spike dropped his bag and raised both hands in surrender. "Look, I know it's a bit of a shock, me showin' up like this," he looked for a place to put out his cigarette and decided on the soul of his shoe. "and with the differences we've had in the past you may not want to listen to a word I have to say, but just... hear me out." 

The growl in Angel's voice was familiar to Spike. The same deadly sound had come from Angelus countless times... just before he killed. "You've got sixty seconds before I rip out your heart."

Spike knew he meant it. He tossed the crushed cigarette into a nearby waste bin and began his attempt to save his own un-life. "I was once the biggest bad-ass vampire around. Angelus and I had some bloody good times together." He smiled briefly, fondly remembering some of them. "But things change. Angelus got a soul and became Angel, a ponc... a peaceful do gooder who regretted his past deeds. And I got a chip. A nasty little chip that while great at keepin' me from causin' any harm did nothin' to cure my bloodlust. Which, by the way, is completely unfair if you ask me. I mean couldn't they have…"

"Thirty seconds." Angel warned him.

"Right." Spike got back to business. Looking Angel straight in the eyes he spoke with all the sincerity he could muster. "Things have changed again. I don't want to kill anymore. Terrorizin' and torturin' innocent people is no longer on my list of fun pastimes. I'm a white hat now… well, gray hat… protectin' the innocent, destroyin' the bad guys. In effect I've become… well, I hate to say it but… a much more handsome version of you I suppose. 'Cept without all the broodin' and 'oh my poor soul'."

"Time's up." Angel sprang forward, his stake aimed squarely for Spike's chest. Spike kicked the stake out of his hands and it went sailing across the room. After trading several punches Angel grabbed Spike and shoved him toward Wesley. 

Spike managed to grab the ax Wesley was holding and spun him around. Wesley lost his grip on the ax, sending him flying into Cordeila who dropped the holy water, which smashed as it hit the floor. Angel came up behind Spike and reached around both sides, grabbing the ax and holding it up under Spike's chin. "After what you did to me, what makes you think I would let you walk out of here in one piece?" He shoved Spike onto the coffee table, which broke under his weight.

Spike looked up to see Angel advancing on him with yellow vampire eyes and a fanged smile. He managed to roll out of the way just as Angel swung the ax down and right into the tile floor, where it stuck. As Angel struggled to remove the ax, Spike scrambled to his feet. "You're the only one who can understand what I'm goin' through. You're the only one who knows what it's like to be driven by a hunger that you can't control… no matter how much you want to." 

Angel gave up on the ax and advanced on Spike, intent on dusting him with his bare hands. "The chip in your head is all the control you need." He sounded frighteningly like Angelus at that point, and Spike had to suppress a shiver of excitement. "And yet… it doesn't seem to be enough to control your death wish, does it? What a shame.' He lunged at Spike.

Wesley and Cordiela watched, fascinated by the sight of two vampires at war. As many times as they'd seen Angel fight, they'd never witnessed the raw fury he was unleashing on Spike. It was as if Angel was lost, so caught up in his anger and lust for revenge that he had given his demon free reign. At first there was nothing but fists and fangs, and the glory of two immortals locked in a fight to the death. Spike managed to get the upper hand and threw Angel into the weapons display case, shattering the glass doors.

Angel was momentarily stunned and Spike took the opportunity to try again. "You're right and your not mate. The chip has been all I've needed… until now." He paused, unsure if this was the right time to spring the news on them. As Angel stood and grabbed a very big, very deadly sword out of the cabinet, Spike decided there never would be a 'right' time. "I don't have the chip anymore." He blurted out.

Stunned silence filled the room. Angel paused with the sword raised over his head. "What?" 

"It was removed without my knowin'. I've been capable of killin' for months now." Spike rushed to explain. "But I haven't. Even without the chip holdin' me back, my cravings were under control… my control. But they're back now. Back with a bloody vengeance and I need your help."

"Help?" Angel scoffed at the word. "Why would I wanna do that… when killing you would be so much fun." He sprang into motion once again, charging Spike and slashing the air with the long sword. 

As Spike dodged the blind attack each swing missed by mere inches. But Angel was fighting blind and Spike used that sloppy style to stay out of his reach while he talked. "Because it's what you do Angel, you help people."

"You're not people." Angel swung again.

"No. I'm a vampire. Just… like… you."

"You're nothing like me." The emotional furry behind Angel's swing was not lost on Spike. He ducked quickly then came back up, grabbing Angel's arm and forcing it down into Spike's knee, causing him to drop the sword. He then twisted Angel's arm behind him and shoved him hard into the counter top, holding him face down on it.

Spike leaned close to his ear and growled in frustration at him. "Listen here you poncy bugger. I'm tryin' to tell you I've changed. I'm one of the bloody Scoobies now. I fight side by side with them everynight. And not 'cause of some chip and not 'cause they pay me. I do it 'cause I bloody want to, but without the chip, these cravings are gettin' out of my control." The frustrated anger in Spike's voice subsided and helpless confusion took its place. "I need you to help me. Please Angel. I can't do it without you." Angel's vampire features melted away and the familiar human brood took its place. Spike let go and took a step back.

Angel was clearly not pleased with the situation as he turned to face him, but it seemed he was at least ready to listen. Spike continued, "I thought it would be so easy. When I found out… I thought, 'Alright. No problem. Big tough vampire that I am? I can handle a little bit of bloodlust. After all, that's what the blood bank's for, right? Just have to be real careful not to run out of the bags.' But noooo… All it took was one tasty girl, bleedin', cryin', all warm and frightened like… and bam! Here comes the hunger. I wanted her so bad I didn't think I could resist, but I did. Handed her over to Giles like a good little hero should."

Angel laughed bitterly at this. "You're no hero Spike. Beating up a few demons now and then because it fits into some twisted scheme you have does not make you a hero. A hero is…" He paused, struggling to find the right words. To his amazement Spike found them first.

"A hero's someone who faces their fears, puts their own needs aside and struggles against their very nature to do what's right, to save others no matter what the personal cost. I know what a hero is, Angel. I work beside one every bloody day… and I'm lookin' at one right now. I know I'll never be a hero. Don't really want to be. But I don't want to be what I was either. I'm tryin' to find the middle ground here. To find a place where I don't have to be a ruthless killer or a defanged kitten unable to even protect itself. But I can't do it alone. Without your help... I'll fail miserably."

Angel gave a weary sigh. He was tired of fighting and hating Spike. Maybe he had changed, maybe he hadn't. It didn't matter anymore. Either way, Angel just wanted to be rid of him. "So what do you want from me?"

Cordiela stepped between them and faced Angel. "Wait just a minute. You're gonna help him? Need I remind you he tried to torture you… to death."

"I know." Angel said calmly. He looked at Spike with pain in his eyes. "I remember very clearly." He looked back to Cordiela. "But he's right, I help people."

They looked in each others eyes for a moment as silent understanding passed between them. "I can't change your mind can I?" It wasn't really a question. Cordiela knew him well enough to know that when he made up his mind about something there was no going back. She sighed and walked around to the other side of the counter. "Wait until Buffy finds out about this. She's gonna flip."

"Um… She already knows." Spike cringed inwardly. He knew that finding out about him and Buffy would be the real kicker. 

"What do you mean?" Angel had a bad feeling that the other shoe was about to drop, and he wasn't gonna like it any more than the first one.

"Well, you see… Buffy and I…uh… we're… Bloody hell, there's no easy way to say this. Buffy and I are a couple now. We love each other." For the second time shocked silence filled the room. "She's the real reason I've changed. The only reason in fact that I'd even consider not giving in to my hunger. She knows the chip is gone and still she wants to be with me. But if I ever lose control… it would be over. She knows it, and I know it. So I left without tellin' her where I was headed. Smart little chippy that she is though, I'm figurin' she's sussed out where I'm at by now and is probably on her way."

Angel sighed. He wasn't really as surprised as he should have been. He was in love with Buffy once and understood very well why Spike would fall for her as well. As for Buffy loving Spike… well, he wasn't too sure he believed that one. He decided to hold off judgement on that until and unless he saw proof. In the meantime he just wanted Spike out of his sight. "So. Let's just get this over with. I don't understand how you expect me to help you with your cravings."

Spike smiled slightly. The fact that Angel chose to ignore his declaration of love for Buffy gave him hope that he would get out of this visit in one piece. "That's easy mate. Just explain your trick."

"Trick?" Angel looked perplexed. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talkin' 'bout how you deal with it. How you keep from givin' in to the call of warm blood coursin' through a live body. When the heart beat pounds in your head… and all you can smell is their fear… how do you stop yourself from doin' the one thing you're meant to do? How do you spare them? What's your trick?"

Spike paused, watching Angel hopefully. The seconds ticked by and soon Spike began to frown. Angel was simply staring back at him as if trying to remember who he was. Spike began to lose his patience and was about to speak again when Angel walked past him, headed for the door. "Come with me." He stated dryly.

Spike turned his head and looked at Cordeila standing behind the bar.

"You wanted help." She raised her hands in surrender. "So go already. Let him help."

Spike sighed and followed Angel out.

******************  

Buffy had wasted too much time already. After leaving Willow's she had gone straight home to let Dawn know she'd be out of town for a couple days. But Dawn wasn't home and that had sent Buffy off on a frantic search of the city once again. She ended up at The Magic Box where Giles reminded her that Dawn was on a field trip with her class. Buffy had completely forgotten and thanked Giles for taking care of her. 

He tried to press her about where she was going, but so much time had already gone by that Buffy simply stated she'd be back when she could and headed out the door. Thankful once again she had finally learned to drive her mom's SUV, she went home, packed everything she thought she'd need, and headed out at full speed.

That "full speed" had slowed to a "sudden crawl" as she neared the first L.A. exit. By the time she made it to Angel's, it was after dark. She burst in the door, stake in hand, ready to break up a vampire fight with some serious threatening. The place was deserted. "Hello?" She called. "Where're all the vampires?"

Cordeila came out from the office. "Buffy? Oh my God. You're…here." She stood looking stunned at her friend.

"Hi. Yea, I'm here but Spike's not. I… I thought he was coming here… but apparently I was way off." She walked to the counter and smiled. What a relief that was. At least she wouldn't have to break up a to-the-death fight between her former lover and current one. That could have gotten ugly.

"Oh, he was here, he's just not now." Cordeila said matter-of-factly.

Buffy went into shock. "No… he's not…"

"Dusted? No. Well, I don't think so. Angel and Spike left just a couple minutes ago… is it really true that you love him? Spike I mean."

"Yea, I really do." Buffy looked sideways at Cordeila waiting for the insults to start.

"Oh my God. That's just… well…it's so… strange." She frowned at the counter for a moment before starting up again. "I mean**, I can kind of see why physically…he does have that hot, tight, bod thing going for him… and I love what he's done with his hair, all messy like that…" She smiled dreamily, remembering the way he'd looked standing in the doorway. She noticed Buffy raising her eyebrows at her, and immediately got back to business. "But Spike? He's just so… not Angel. He's really not your type."**

Count on Cordeila to point out the obvious, Buffy thought. "But I think that's exactly why I love him. He's not like any type at all. Every time I think I have him figured out he goes and does something to surprise me."

"Like asking your former boyfriend for help controlling his bloodlust, so he can be with you?" Wesley stepped out from the office, and up to the counter.

"Wow. He really told you guys everything?" It couldn't have been easy not only telling Angel, but Wesley and Cordeila too.

"Yes, everything." Wesley looked at her concerned for a moment. "I have to ask you something, but I will only ask once." He paused and took her hand. "Do you really love him?"

"Yes," she said seriously, looking straight into his eyes. She saw his honest concern and he saw her steadfast conviction. In that moment they reached their understanding. Whether he liked it or not he would accept their relationship, no more questions asked.

"In that case, I think you should wait here."

"No. I have to find him, Angel…"

"…will do his best to help him. If you try to interfere you will only make things worse. They will both return here, and when they do, then you can be with him." Wesley knew there was truly nothing he could do to keep her here if she really wanted to go. He could only hope she would see the wisdom in leaving the two vampires in her life to sort things out on their own.

After thinking a few minutes, Buffy finally conceded. "Fine. I'll wait. But if either of them end up dusty because I wasn't there…" she looked pointedly at Wesley, "…you're in big trouble."

He smiled a nervous grin and stated with more conviction than he felt, "They'll both be fine. Probably laughing over old times even as we speak."

*********************

"No! No, I can't!" Spike was sure he was screaming, but his voice sounded far away. Angel rammed him up against the brick wall near the window.

"Are you sure? No one will know. Just one. Can't you smell them… their blood?" Angel was talking low in Spike's ear, taunting him, trying to bring out the bloodlust he was doing such a good job suppressing. And Angel was impressed. They were in the alley outside one of the busiest nightclubs in town. Even Angel could feel the call of the hunt.

Spike pushed back from the wall hard, knocking Angel back several feet. He glared at his supposed savior, wondering why he was tempting him instead of helping him. He had told Angel how long it had been since he'd eaten. He shouldn't have brought him here where he could sense so many warm bodies so near by. He turned and looked at the back door to the club, his demon beginning to take over once again.

He stood still as stone, listening to the sounds of music and laughter coming from inside. Slowly, other sounds came clear to his vampire ears- heartbeats, blood pumping through veins. He turned away quickly, gripping the sides of his head. "No." A ragged whisper escaped him. The demon was winning and he knew it. All that time being denied, it was surfacing, angry, vengeful, and… "Hungry." Spike turned back toward the door. He took a deep breath in through his nose and smiled. Blood. Human blood; pumping away, hot and fast. 

He lowered his chin and grinned evilly at the door. As he took a step an image of Buffy appeared before him, as if she really stood there. She smiled up at him in that trusting, loving way she had. He blinked once then twice. He straightened up and murmured to the vision, "Always for you, luv." She disappeared and Spike turned to face Angel as his human face regained control. "Not gonna work, mate. You can't just trick me into it." 

Angel frowned at him. "Then you don't really need my help do you?"

"Yes, I do. Look… I can resist most times, like now, when there's an easy way out. It's when I'm holdin' her…" he paused to gage Angel's reaction. This wasn't going to be easy for him to hear, but it was necessary. "when she's so close to me that there's nothin' else… no other sound but her heartbeat… no other smell but her skin…It's when she's most vulnerable to me that the craving becomes… uncontrollable. Twice I've felt it with her and twice I've resisted. But I can't resist forever. I feel my demon gettin' stronger all the time. I'm afraid the next time she's near me…" he looked deep in Angel's eyes, hoping to convey his sincerity. "I won't betray her like that. You have to help me."

Angel looked at Spike and for the first time saw a real man. Gone was the monster who had reveled in destruction and mayhem, gone was the vampire whose greatest pleasure was found in the moment he drank the last life from a person. For the first time Angel saw a man in love, willing to risk everything, honest in his intent.

Angel wasn't ready to give up just yet though. Admitting Spike was worthy of Buffy, even without a soul, held far too many implications for him to accept. "Well that was a lovely little speech. But to convince me you're gonna have to do better than that."

"Name it." Spike was through wasting time. He was beginning to miss Buffy terribly, and if Angel was starting to admit he'd give him a chance, he was more than ready to do whatever it took.

"Well, there is one thing you can do that will convince me your intentions are honorable, but you may not like it." Angel smiled at the humiliation he was about to expose Spike to.

"I told you… anything." Spike lifted his chin, prepared for anything.

*************************  

Spike had not been prepared for this. Luckily shyness was not one of his vices and he took to the stage like a fish to water. The crowd loved him. He belted out the Billy Idol tune like it was written for him, his voice surprisingly strong and on-key the whole time.

At a nearby table, Angel sat with his head buried under his hands. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Angel had meant to embarrass Spike, not give him the time of his life. But there he was, rocking out like a pro, smiling from ear to ear. And worse yet, the Host was smiling too. Angel sighed, realizing too late that this was Spike he was dealing with, being the center of attention was what he lived for. "Should have known." He mumbled to himself.

Angel lifted his head again to take in the green-faced demon. "Do you have to do that?"

"Do what?" He replied never looking away from the stage.

"Smile… like he's good or something."

"Are your ears on straight, my friend? He is good." He listened for a few lines more then looked over at a tortured Angel. Sighing, he reluctantly turned away from the show and turned his focus to Angel. "Ok. I get it. Time for business. Spike is on the path he needs to be, there's just one little road block in his way, one that better get out of his way fast if he knows what's good for him." Off Angel's confused look the Host replied, "That road block is you, pal."

"Me? I'm the roadblock?" Angel tried to take it in but it wouldn't compute. He was the one to clear the road, not muddle it up. And since when was a Spike path a good path anyway?

The Host continued as Spike was wrapping up the song. "There's some major conflict going on inside that boy… and I'm not just talking about a vampire's love for a Slayer." At Angel's downhearted look he continued "Oh yea. Hate to break your heart babe, but the vampire's love is very real. 

Angel looked up at Spike. Now done with the song, he was standing with his arms up triumphant, loving the applause and cheering. "Yea! All right!"

He turned back to the Host "So you're saying I have to stand back and let him have her?"

"Let him? You don't have a choice in that, bub. You're not involved in her path anymore. You have a more important role to play now." 

Spike joined them at the table, and at the Host's serious expression, sat down and frowned. The Host turned to Spike. "There's a battle coming. Big one. Huge. Buffy is going to need you, Spike. She can't face what's to come alone, and Angel can't be there for her, not anymore."

"So what is to come? Another apocalypse?" Spike leaned forward in anticipation. The fact that he'd said Buffy needed him, not Angel, was pushed to the back of his mind. Buffy was his first priority and if something was threatening her… again… he wanted to know everything he could ASAP.

"Not exactly. Look, you'll figure it out when the time is right. For now you need to concentrate on the issue at hand." He looked pointedly at Angel. "You have to help Spike. Prepare him for what's to come. If he tries to help Buffy in the state of confusion he's in now… it's all over for her. You have to help him find his balance. There's good and evil in everyone, Angel; you should know that by now. Help him find the balance." He stood up to go.

"Wait. That's it? 'Find the balance'? What the bloody hell kind of advice is that?" Spike stood up threateningly. Angel stood up as well and put a hand on Spike to hold him back.

The Host looked at Spike with pity. "I'm sorry, I can't say anymore. Trust Angel, let him guide you." He turned and walked away.

Angel tried to guide Spike to the door. "Let him go. You won't get anymore out of him."

"Is he always that bloody cryptic?" Angel nodded at him. 

"Let's go." Angel would help Spike get his demon under control, find his damn balance, then he would send him back to Sunnydale and be done with him. Angel had been through something similar with Faith. She had reached a crisis of sorts and desperately needed help getting back on the right path. Difference with her was she would listen. When Angel told her there was no easy way, that each day was a struggle she was going to have to fight on her own, she understood. She believed him and took the message to heart, beginning with turning herself in to the police.

With Spike, Angel knew it wouldn't be that easy. If he told Spike there was no trick, that being good was a struggle everyone faced everyday, Spike would assume he was trying to get out of helping him and would go off looking for someone else to give him the magic pill. Someone who would probably use him and dump him, and that wouldn't do anyone any good.

Angel knew with Spike he had to be sneaky, he had to make the lesson creep up on him and smack him upside the head when he least expected it. He had to prove to Spike that he was right. And so he took Spike on the wild goose chase of his life.

***

First stop was a particularly mean vampire nest Angel had heard about last night. He walked Spike up to the entrance of the sewer. From inside they could hear several vampires laughing and roaring, obviously having a party of some kind. Angel stopped and pointed into the darkness of the cave-like tunnel. "Take them out."

"What?" Spike looked at him like he was crazy. "What do you mean 'take them out'? How many of what are we talking about here?"

"Does it really matter? You want to control your demon… so… kill them." Angel folded his arms across his chest and looked at Spike calmly.

"And exactly how will killing a bunch of unknown baddies help me control my demon?" Spike tilted his head and raised one eyebrow at him.

"Look, you want me to help you, this will help you. Don't question me, just do it." Angel looked completely serious and calm, like a karate master teaching a thick-headed student.

Spike sighed and put his game face on. Turning toward the dark entrance, he smiled as he realized he could really let go with no worries about hurting the wrong guy. As he disappeared into the dark, Angel smiled ever so slightly. Step one; wear him out.

Various growls, howls, and roars were heard as well as several things breaking. After several minutes, out staggered a worn but relatively unhurt, blonde vampire. "That…I could have used a hand you know. They nearly got me… several times."

Angel looked him over and turned to leave. "But they didn't. Let's go."

The rest of the night didn't go much easier for Spike. Several nests later, Angel turned up the stakes with a trip to a night club. Spike easily picked out three demons in the crowd and followed them out back, where they were just about to have a snack of two young girls. He scared the girls off with a flash of vampire features, then ripped the spine out of two of the demons and decapitated the third.

All the while, Angel looked on from the sidelines. Spike stalked up to him, anger etched in his human features. "What's this all about then? I'm not joinin' the bloody army. What's all this supposed to prove?"

Angel studied his face calmly, then decided he was ready for a change of pace. He led Spike to the top of a tall office building downtown. Angel instructed him in several meditative poses and made him recite the alphabet backwards. Spike was seriously considering punching Angel out and leaving when he was told to get up on the narrow wall circling the roof of the building.

Frowning, Spike did as he was told. "What now? Leap to my death?" Spike hoped Angel didn't fancy the idea enough to actually push him.

"Face outward, raise your arms straight out to each side and wait." Angel stood still while Spike considered the directive a moment, then, after rolling his eyes, followed his instructions. Without making a sound, Angel disappeared back down the stairs that led to the roof and waited at the top landing.

He leaned against the wall, wondering how long it would be before Spike realized he was gone and came back down fuming. He waited… and he waited. He was beginning to worry maybe he had jumped after all, when a surprisingly calm Spike sauntered down the stairs.

"Angel? Fancy seein' you here. You wouldn't want to explain that little game we just played, would you?"

Angel turned and began to walk down the hall. "Didn't think so." He heard Spike mumble behind him. Suddenly Angel found himself up against the wall, one hand pinning him at his throat, the other held a stake over his heart.

"Well, look at this, mate. Seems the tables have finally turned. And it only took what? Two hundred years and 10 hours of my jumpin' through soddin' hoops to do it. Now, are you gonna tell me this bloody secret of yours… or should I just put you out of my misery?" Angel gargled something Spike couldn't understand. "What?" Spike grinned evilly and tightened his grip. 

He remembered clearly the time their positions had been reversed and it was Angel with the upper hand, pinning Spike to a beam. Their rivalry stretched back over a century, an Alpha Male kind of battle. Only one of them could be the leader, and it had always been Angel. But now Spike was in control… Angel was at his mercy and… Bugger, Spike thought, I need him to help me, not be bloody pissed at me. 

He let go of Angel's neck and stepped back, putting the stake back in his jacket pocket. "Sorry, mate. But I think after what you've put me though tonight… well… no hard feelings, right?" Spike tried to grin sincerely.

Angel glared back as he rubbed his neck. He looked like he was about to say something but stopped himself. He remembered what the Host had told him. There was something big going on, and he wasn't involved. He was just supposed to help Spike, then walk away. 

He grinned back at Spike, "Sure. No hard feelings." His smile grew wider as he realized he had one more twist to throw at him. One that may very well push Spike over the edge. "What I said…when you were choking me…was… there is no secret."

Spike froze. "Say that again."

"There is no secret. No easy way out, no quick fix, no potion, no spell… no little pill." Angel could see the rage building in Spike again. He hated being tricked; he liked to be the one doing the tricking. Angel had taken him this route to show him that the time for tricks was over… that and to have a little fun with him.

Spike glared at him. "Then what the bleedin' hell was the point of the song and dance you just put me through?" Spike was at the end of his rope, and it showed as his demon features surfaced while he spoke.

"I had to make sure you were ready to listen." Angel looked calmly at him.

"Make sure… ready…." Spike stuttered. "Of course I'm ready to listen! I've been ready since the instant I walked in your bloody door!"

"No, Spike. I know you. Just telling you there was no easy way wouldn't have worked. I had to show you. Actions speak louder than words… mate." They stared at each other for a moment, calm resignation on Angel's face, shocked fury on Spike's.

Spike suddenly let out a roar and stormed part way down the hall. "Aaaaaarrrrrrrggg!" He turned, in full on vampire face, and flew back stopping mere inches from Angel. "Couldn't be easy, could it? Couldn't just be 'here you go Spike, go lock yourself in a room full of crosses for an hour or so, swim a bloody lake of holy water, and take a stake in the gut… then you'll be cured.'"

Angel blinked at the similarity to a trial he'd had to run once to save Darla's life. "Isn't she worth it? Worth all that and more?"

Spike froze and his demon face melted away. Spike's very human blue eyes looked back at Angel, and sincerely he said, "That she is, Angel. She most definitely is worth it." 

Spike turned and took a couple steps, thinking of his love and how doomed they really were. "So. I take it what you're tryin' to tell me is that every time I'm with her will be the same. Every time I'm gonna to feel that hunger, and every time I'll be a second away from doin' what my nature calls out for me to do." He looked back at Angel with sorrow filled eyes. "I can't do that. I can't risk her life like that. Without a guarantee… I just can't." He looked down at his hands, sorrow filling his heart.

"Well, I suppose that's one way to look at it, and that's one choice to make, but it's not your choice alone." Angel sighed as Spike looked up at him. This was hard, so much harder than he thought it would be. When Angel had left Buffy, he did so against her wishes, he gave her no choice. Now Spike was making the same mistake with her. Angel laughed inwardly at the similarities between them. He sobered when he realized he still loved Buffy, but had finally let go.

"Buffy deserves the right to decide, too. You need to talk to her, tell her everything you're feeling, let her decide if it's worth the risk. After all, it is her life. Shouldn't she have some say in how it's lived?" Angel waited while the question went round Spike's brain.

After a moment Spike looked at him again. "You're right. Don't know why I didn't see it before." He frowned at his own blindness. "That's not like me."

Angel put his arm around Spike's shoulder and guided him down the hall. "Yea, well, love will do that to you." They walked out of the building with a new bond. They had both done a lot of growing up lately, each surviving their own personal trials. Though they'd never consider themselves best buds, they had reached an understanding. 

They headed back to the hotel as new friends. Angel knew Spike was nearly starving by now and told him he could help himself to his freshly stocked fridge when they got back. As they walked in the door Spike was literally licking his lips in anticipation. The moment he saw Buffy he froze. His demon was near the surface in anticipation of feeding, and there she was.

She didn't give him time to contemplate the possible consequences though, as she stalked up to him, pointing a stake at him. "You," she said sternly, "are in a huge world of trouble."

  


End ch 3

To Be Continued.... If you give feedback ;)   



	4. LSOD Chapter 4

A Lighter Shade Of Darkness  
Because not everything is simply black or white. 

**"A Lighter Shade of Darkness"**  
By Cindell T.  
  
**Chapter 4**

  
  
Spoilers: Takes place after "The Gift"  
Rated: PG-13  
Standard Disclaimer: The characters in this story do not belong to me, they belong to the Buffy The Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon. I am only using them for my story, and no copyright infringement is intended. Please don't sue, I have no money. No, really.  
  
Acknowledgements: As always, my thanks and admiration to Tracy and Abby. It's hard to find the words to express how much they have helped me, and how much I owe them. They're not just my beta's any more, I consider them friends.   
  
Synopsis: Sequel to Dreams Come True. Buffy and Spike's relationship is progressing nicely untill it's threatened by the actions of the Watcher's Council. Spike is left to turn to outside help to get his new...or rather, return to his old...problem under control. Meanwhile, the dark spirit hiding in Willow finally makes it's move, attempting to completely control her... and her power.   
  
******************   
  
"Where is she and how do we get her out." Willow was barely keeping it together. She wanted to do something, anything. Grab this woman and fill her with all the anger and sorrow she was feeling, until she exploded from the immensity of it all. Instead she kept it all in check and forced herself to listen. She would make whoever did this pay, but she had learned the hard way that blind rage was exactly that, blind. If she wanted to win she needed to see clearly. She took a deep breath and concentrated on the woman before her.   
  
The woman waved her hand over the mirror and Tara's tortured image faded, replaced by the now moonlit woods around them. "A few weeks ago you and Tara decided to try out a new spell. Had it worked it would have opened your eyes to the dimension of the spirit. In essence you would have been able to see ghosts, am I right?" She knew she was. She had learned a great deal about Willow during her time hiding in the young witch's body. That was the intent of the spell, and though it had nothing to do with the current situation, she decided it would work well enough to lead Willow down the necessary path. The best lies had some truth in them, the right mix of truth and lies could work magic of it's own.   
  
Willow's angry, determined expression briefly flickered with confusion. "Yes, but nothing happened. Not even any side effects."   
  
"Wrong. There was a side effect… unfortunately a rather serious one. As I said, unguided power is very dangerous. You have great power within you, my dear… but without a guide, it is hit or miss. The spell you did was off in one crucial way. Because of that, instead of opening your eyes to the spirit world, you opened a gateway from them to you… and Tara. She is being haunted, tortured by angry spirits who have finally found the gateway you opened."   
  
Willow's eyes went wide in shock. "No. No! That can't be! We were so careful, we did everything exactly as the book said."   
  
The woman shook her head sadly. "My poor child. Trusting a book written by someone who only practices magic for profit. Spells by witches such as those are also hit or miss, for they too are without guidance. Their purpose for learning magic taints it, colors the magic with the promise of wealth and makes much of it invalid. Combine that with your irreverent attitude and it's no wonder many of your spells go astray."   
  
Willow's pride took over and she raised her chin slightly, insulted. "My spells don't go astray that often. Hardly ever in fact."   
  
"My dear, I'm not talking about the spells you use in crisis while helping your friends. Granted those are powerful and useful. I'm talking about the dabbling you and Tara do for fun. You think levitating an amulet is a harmless gesture, a simple thing that effects nothing else. But you are wrong." For the first time since meeting her, Willow noticed a dark emotion cross the woman's features.   
  
The woman took a deep breath. "Dear girl, everything connects to everything else in this world. The actions of a chemical company on one side of the globe effect the rainforests on the other side. The balance is even more delicate in the magic world. Every single time you touch magical forces, and bend them to your will, you effect countless other forces. If your attitude is not right, if your purpose is clouded, then things change. The spell is corrupt. You have been playing at magic for years, an unfathomably dangerous thing to do with power as strong as yours."   
  
Willow's face dropped as she realized the woman was right. The spells that went most wrong were the ones that were least important to her. When she was helping her friends, saving her friends, when it really counted Willow had a different attitude. Her concentration was so much more intense, her mind perfectly clear, the only focus that of the spell. When her and Tara were 'trying out' a new spell it was often preceded by giggling and chatting of unrelated subjects. Their attitude one of kids with a new toy.   
  
She looked at the woman with a new attitude, her expression calm and resolved. "You're right. I'm sorry. We haven't had the proper respect, but we will from now on… I promise you that. Now how do we help Tara?"   
  
The woman smiled again. "No need to apologize to me my dear. As far as helping Tara…" She gave Willow a thoughtful look, as if sizing her up. "Tara can be helped, but I'm afraid you will find it very difficult to except the method of her rescue."   
  
Willow frowned. "What do you mean?"   
  
The woman turned from Willow and walked slowly to the other side of the table. Willow kept silent, though her heart was screaming for her to yell at the woman to hurry up.   
  
The woman turned a somber expression to Willow. Just a touch of truth, she though. To Willow she explained, "The spirit who tortures your friend was a powerful being when she was alive. Though she knew the magic arts, she preferred to use blackmail to get what she wanted. She is one of those spirits you released. Apparently now she is using Tara's pain to draw you out, so that she may possess your body and lay claim to all the power within you.   
  
The only way to defeat her is by using the amulet you wear. But in order to activate it you must be very close to her, and once you are she will be able to read your mind, and know what you are planning. Ultimately, you will fail."   
  
Willow frowned. "So you're saying there is a way, but I can't do it? Then tell me who can."   
  
"I can." She smiled slightly and began walking back to Willow's side of the table as she spoke, "In fact this is the very sort of thing I'm trained for… consider me… a special agent of the magical realm." She smiled good naturedly, then continued excitedly, "If you were to trade bodies with me, allow me guardianship of your power, I could get close to her. I am strong enough to block my thoughts from her, she would have no idea what I was up to until it was too late. I would use the amulet you wear to send her back to where she came from, then Tara would be released from her pain and would return to her normal self, all traces of her torment erased." She paused briefly then began walking to the other side of Willow. "You and I would switch back and all would be right with the world once again."   
  
Willow considered for a moment. "That sounds good except for one thing. What exactly do you mean by 'guardianship of my powers'?"   
  
The woman responded slowly, struggling to hold back her glee. She was so close to victory. "You have great power within you, Willow. Power so strong and vast that you may never realize it's limits. It is a gift bestowed on you by the Powers That Be. A gift you have guardianship of for the length of this life. Over time it has grown more than even they could have foreseen.   
  
You can work small miracles with a word, with a gesture. But those are puny compared to what your power can accomplish. To work spells of a greater magnitude, such as the one required to release your friend, you need a control you have yet to master. In transferring guardianship to me, your power becomes my power, it will bend to my will as it does now to yours. I will use it and the amulet to free your loved one from her torment." With a wave of her hand the mirror sprung to life, once again filled with the unbearable image of Tara, screaming in agony. "The transfer of power is only temporary, hours, perhaps days… but the love you two share…"   
  
Willow's eyes darkened with sorrow. She turned away from the mirror, unable to watch any longer. "Do it. Whatever you need to do, get it done." She rose her head to meet the woman's eyes. "Save my girl."   
  
The woman smiled in triumph. "Good. You need only take my hands and repeat after me." Joy lit her face as she took Willow's shaky hands in her own. She looked her straight in the eye and began the spell.   
  
"Powers of the spirit world, hear my call, hear my plea…"   
  
Willow never took her eyes from those of the woman, as she repeated, "Powers of the spirit world, hear my call, hear my plea…"   
  
"Powers of the Earth and Sky, hear my call, hear my plea…"   
  
The wind had begun to pick up again, but Willow ignored it. "Powers of the Earth and Sky, hear my call, hear my plea…"   
  
"Powers of the magic realm, hear my call, hear my plea…" The woman noticed the amulet glow faintly again out of the corner of her eye, as Willow repeated her.   
  
"Powers of the magic realm, hear my call, hear my plea…"   
  
"Take my powers now from me…"   
  
"In good faith I give of them, sunrise to sunrise, return again…"   
  
"With open heart and open eyes, I separate them from all I am…"   
  
"My spirit, free, shall fly to thee, your spirit come here rest in me…"   
  
"Transfer now before sunrise, transfer now I command thee!"   
  
Like a bolt of lightning, Willow's spirit was ripped from her body and shot into that of the woman's as a dark mist flowed into Willow's body.   
  
When Willow opened her eyes again, she was instantly fearful. Something was terribly wrong. She felt heavy, every blink of her eyes an effort to complete. The woods around her were glowing ever so faintly with an eerie dark halo. She heard strange sounds, and an electrical crackling combined with a low hum.   
  
"What's happening? I feel so strange." She asked and realized her voice was now that of the woman's.   
  
The spirit now occupying Willow's body laughed, a loud cackle of evil joy. "It's done! The power is truly mine. Oh, I can feel it coursing through me." She smiled at Willow. "One more task and my plan will be realized." She removed the amulet from her neck and walked over to the table, placing the amulet on it. She took a step back and commanded it, "Melt."   
  
The gold immediately softened and flowed, forming a puddle in the center of the table. She heard Willow cry out and turned to look at her.   
  
"What have you done? You said that amulet was necessary to save Tara!"   
  
"Yes, well… I lied." At her confused expression, the woman laughed. "Stupid girl. The amulet was necessary to save you. In two days time the sun will set on your last day in flesh. That body you wear is only borrowed for as long as the transfer spell lasts. The amulet was necessary to transfer you back into this body, without it, you will be trapped when that body reverts to it's original state… stone."   
  
Willow, now in an unfamiliar and strange feeling body, narrowed her eyes. Her power was gone, she could feel it. The body she inhabited may have superior senses but those senses were telling her that the only real power lay in her body. A body she had been talked into giving up and now there was nothing she could do about it. At least, nothing magically.   
  
She suddenly lunged at the woman, knocking her to the ground as her fingers closed around her neck in a crushing grip. "If you don't save Tara now… I will kill you." It was eerie looking into a face that used to be hers. She'd seen those eyes in the mirror countless times but never saw turn black as they did now. Willow suddenly went flying several feet back, landing hard on the ground.   
  
The woman rose up in one smooth motion as if lifted by unseen hands. "Fool! You have no powers now, they are all mine. You wasted them on trivial things, but I will not. You were barely able to access the fringe of your power's reach, I will be able to tap the very depths of it."   
  
She spun around with her arms out wide. "This is the Hellmouth. The center of convergence for the forces of Evil. With your power… no, with my power, I will use those forces as I see fit. I will shape my own world. And you…" She leaned down and spoke in Willow's face, suddenly calm and gentle, "… will be remembered as my stepping stone." She turned and floated away, as the sun peeked over the horizon.   
  
****************   
Angel and Spike both froze at the top of the steps as Buffy marched toward them. He had talked to her on the phone shortly after her return from the dead, but actually seeing her, walking and talking, Angel couldn't help but smile at the sight of his old friend. He suddenly realized how he'd just thought of her… not his love, but his friend.   
  
Buffy walked straight up to Spike and punched him in the nose. "What the hell did you think you were doing, leaving me like that?" She was furious… ok, mostly relieved. She wasn't about to tell him that though, at least not yet. First she had to make sure he got the point that he was never, ever to leave her again, and that required anger.   
  
She began pelting him with hooks and jabs which, for the most part, he managed to block. "Life has been so easy for me hasn't it… I've lived such a sheltered life up until now… how could I possibly handle something like this? What is wrong with you?" Finally she landed a right hook to his jaw that sent him to the ground. He slowly wiped the blood from his lip and grinned up at her.   
  
Angel stuttered out a hasty retreat, "Um... I'll just be... over here... if you need me." He pointed to the counter and backed over to where Cordiela and Wesley were pretending not to watch the fight.   
  
Spike rose to face her. "What's wrong with me? There's nothin' wrong with me luv... not anymore." He began fighting back, throwing his own set of punches that she dodged just as easily. "Now you on the other hand have a real problem"   
  
"Me?"   
  
"Yea you. You'll tell me you want me, you need me, but only when we're alone. Soon as any of your little scooby gang's around it's suddenly 'Oh no, he's nothing to me, he's just a monster.' Nice little denial trip you have going on there. Just can't stand to let anyone know how you really feel about me, can you."   
  
"That's not true. I did tell them." Spikes eyes widened in disbelief "Well... them being Willow... but I will tell the others too. Besides that is not the point here. Point is you promised me you'd never leave me, and then you did." He tried to speak but she stopped fighting him and suddenly placed a gentle finger to his lips. "Some stupid macho part of that worm-ridden brain of yours decided you needed to solve your problems alone." She dropped her hand and gazed at him sincerely. Anger, love hate, all showed in her eyes at once. "You know damn well that whatever problems you face… we face."   
  
"But pet, this is different." He took a step toward her and gently touched her bare arm. "It's not some external bad guy, the problem is me. It's inside me, that's not somethin' you can help me with."   
  
"Bull." She jerked away from his light caress and crossed her arms at him. "It doesn't matter what package the problem comes in, we agreed that we'd face them together, remember? Together, period. Not 'together if' or 'together except when'. You can't tell me you'll never leave then go running off every time you feel a problem is too tough for me to handle."   
  
Spike smiled tenderly at her. She was right and he knew it. After years of his telling her the hard truth about herself, she had finally turned the tables and was giving him a taste of his own medicine. That medicine fixed something inside him. The final piece of the demon-control puzzle fell into place. He realized her love was just as unconditional as his. He was no longer alone. Whatever happened tomorrow or the day after she would be with him.   
  
He fell in love all over again. Slowly he brought his sexiest smile to bear on her. "You can't tame me you know. I'll always be a man with a monster inside, sometimes… more monster than man." He placed his hands on her hips and pulled her to him, as her hands wrapped around his neck, and her fingers tangled in his hair.   
  
"I wouldn't have you any other way." She smiled looking deep into his eyes. For an instant she saw a spark of demon gold and it sent chills down her spine…good chills.   
  
As he leaned in to kiss her, someone behind them cleared their throat. They turned to see Cordeila smack Wesley in the arm "What'd you stop them for? It was just getting good." Wesley nodded to a noticeably uncomfortable Angel, and Cordeila frowned. "Oh. Sorry."   
  
Angel waved her apology away and turned back to the couple. "It's ok." He turned away again, and pretended to be interested in a book on the counter. "So, I guess you two will be heading back… now that you've got everything straightened out and all."   
  
"Actually mate, I'd love to. Problem is the sun's just about up and I really don't feel like barbeque at the moment." He guided Buffy away from the front door with one arm draped across her shoulders.   
  
"Oh." Angel stared at them for a moment before realizing he really didn't want to be in the same building with them while they… "I'm going to go help Gunn. He's moving." He grabbed his coat and headed for the door.   
  
"I thought he wasn't moving till next week." Cordeila called after him.   
  
"Yea well, he's got a lot of stuff." Angel disappeared out the door.   
  
"I really should work on that translation." Wesley headed for the inner office. "I'm sure that it will come in handy…someday." He too disappeared.   
  
Cordeila, apparently being the least wigged of the bunch, decided it was up to her to play hostess "Well, I'll just show you guys to a room, this is after all a hotel…well, not in the we let people stay here for money sense of the word… but still, plenty of room... uh, rooms. Whatever. We even have one with a stocked fridge… of blood." Off they're queried looks she replied, "Blathen demon was staying with us for a couple days… they drink blood too."   
  
When Buffy finally closed the door, she sighed once, then ran and plopped down on the huge bed. "Man, talk about a stressful day." She said to the ceiling. She propped herself up on her elbows and looked pleadingly at Spike as he rummaged in the fridge. "Promise me when we get back they'll be a no-stress-allowed zone, where we can veg for at least a week?"   
  
Spike was downing the second of three packs of blood he had found, and answered with his back to her. "Wouldn't that be nice."   
  
She harrumphed in agreement, then rose and stealthily snuck up on him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him close. He stopped drinking with the bag still half full. "Uh…luv… not that I mind, but I'm kind of tryin' to have somethin' to eat here. Can't you wait till I'm finished?"   
  
She quickly slid round in front of him, her hands clasped behind his back now. "Nope." She said with a smile. Buffy looked at his face, studying every inch of it. Her eyes roamed over his extended brow, the gold of his eyes, down his ridged nose and to his jagged, blood covered teeth.   
  
She smiled as she copied a move he had done to her, ages ago it seemed. She reached out with the tip of her tongue, and licked the blood that trickled out the corner of his mouth. She felt him shiver and he nearly dropped the half full bag of blood he was still holding. She slowly moved her tongue across his upper lip, down the left side and back across his bottom lip, slightly warming his skin along the way.   
  
She came back to the center, reveling in the way his body was trembling from her touch. He was holding back, she could feel it. She decided it was about time he realized he didn't have to with her. She spoke with her lips barely touching his, her voice and breath captured by his slightly opened mouth, "Spike. I've waited so long to have all of you. Please don't hold back on me now." She leaned into him and he finally dropped the bag, his arms wrapping around her as he leaned his head back to look into her eyes.   
  
It was just like in his dreams the day before. Her eyes looked into his with such trust, so full of love and acceptance. She loved him for everything he was, both good and bad. "I'll never leave you again." He promised. His head swooped down just as in the dream, but instead of her neck, it was her mouth he captured. His tongue quickly found hers and together they began a dance as old as time.  
  
When the day was over, they were still in bed, snuggled in each others arms. Buffy smiled blissfully, thinking of all the ways he had shown his love for her. Her fingers tenderly felt the gash where he had bitten her. He had tried to be so gentle with her, and really she had hardly felt any pain, she had been so lost in the other sensations and the connection his bite had created. She trusted him completely. And she loved him truly, more than she would have ever thought possible. She turned to him and ran a finger down his jaw line, and across his lips. "The sun's going down."   
  
"Um hmm." He murmured, smiling at her.   
  
"We should get ready to go home." She paused and looked deep into his eyes. "There's something I want to tell the gang."   
  
It took Spike less than a heartbeat to understand what she meant. "Are you sure 'bout that luv? I mean, they've been treatin' me pretty decent lately, makin' me feel almost at home and all... but I'm pretty sure news like this won't be exactly welcome."   
  
"That doesn't matter, it's the truth. You're a part of my life and it's time they excepted that." She grinned mischievously at him. "Besides, they'll have no choice but to except it when they see us holding hands, or hugging… or kissing." She placed a gentle kiss on his lips.   
  
"Alright luv. We'll tell them soon as we get back." He hugged her close. "But first…" He grinned as he rolled over on top of her. "there's one more thing I need to show you." The sparkle in his eyes took Buffy's breath away, and her eyes grew wide as he showed her yet another way to love.   
  
*************   
Willow approached the Magic Box at a full out run. She had stopped crying several miles back. She had found that though her movements were slow, she was able to continue at the same pace without tiring. Even so it had taken her all day to find her way back, getting lost in the woods ate up a huge amount of time. The sun was just setting as she approached the door.   
  
She paused, listening to the conversations inside. Anya and Xander were there, whispering and giggling about their sexual escapades from the night before. Dawn was mumbling something about 'stupid geometry', and 'when am I ever gonna use that in real life'. And Giles… She listened harder, and there it was. Though she'd never actually heard it before, the sound was unmistakable from her seeing it so many times; a soft cloth being rubbed over eyeglass lenses, and the slight squeak of the frame as it wiggled slightly back and forth.   
  
Suddenly a loud voice boomed at her through the closed door, making her jump. "NOW DAWN," Willow realized she had 'turned up' her hearing so much that Giles normal speaking voice was unbearably loud. She put her hands over her ears and concentrated on making the voice quiet, it was instantly more bearable. "you know very well that Geometry is an important part of your education. When Willow and Tara get here I'm sure they'll be more than willing to help."   
  
Her heart nearly broke at the sound of Tara's name, but she Took a deep breath and entered the shop. As she strode in the door, Anya came out from behind the counter and approached her with a cheery greeting.   
  
"Welcome to the Magic Box. How may I…"   
  
Willow breezed right past her without a glance. Anya, unaccustomed to being completely ignored by a potential new customer, turned her head and told Xander, "Well, that was rude."   
  
Giles watched the woman breeze past Anya and stride up to him purposefully. He wasn't prepared for what she said.   
  
"There's trouble. Big trouble. We're gonna have to work fast in order to save her."   
  
"Oh. Well, uh, alright?" Giles frowned up at her from his seat. "Who are we saving?"   
  
"Tara. She's at home... I think." Suddenly Xander and Anya appeared at her side and Dawn closed her book. "I would have gone there first, but I know I won't be able to do anything for her without your help."   
  
"What's wrong with Tara?" Dawn asked with a concern look.   
  
"Is she ok?" Xander and Anya asked at the same time.   
  
Willow turned her head toward them, and with a pressing down gesture of her hand, told them, "No, she's not ok, but she will be." She turned back to Giles "I need you to figure out how to get me back in my own body, and fast. I think she's got some 'I'm gonna take over the world' delusion thing going on, and I have a feeling with my power, she may be able to do just that."   
  
Giles walked to the other side of the table. "I'm afraid you're going to have to slow down and start from the beginning. Beginning with... who are you?" He pulled out a chair and gestured for her to sit down.   
  
"We don't have time to sit." She looked pleadingly at him. "It's me Giles, I'm Willow." He looked at her with a dumfounded expressions for several moments before Willow's patience wore thin. "Look believe me or don't." She reached into the folds of her robe and pulled out a flattened piece of gold. She handed it to Giles. "Maybe this will help. It's an amulet. Or… was an amulet." She sighed, and began explaining from the beginning as quickly as she could. When she was done, Giles sat down with a worried look on his face. "Giles, you're sitting. I told you we don't have time for sitting. We have to find a way to re-form the amulet, find my body, and make the switch so I can save Tara."   
  
Xander mused out loud, "What's with the hellmouthy events running in pairs all the time? Two Buffy deaths, two bad robotic encounters, two vampires switching sides, now we have the second in a wicked fun body switchorama. What's with that, anyway?"   
  
"But what if she lied." They looked at Dawn. "I mean, she said she lied about the amulet saving Tara right? What if Tara's ok? What if it was all an illusion to make you switch with her?"   
  
Giles took off his glasses again and rubbed the bridge of his nose, as he mumbled, "I highly doubt that." He sighed and put his glasses back on. "From what Willow has said, this sounds very serious. I believe this is not a simple demon we're dealing with here. If I'm right we need Buffy right away. Unfortunately I don't have any idea where she is at the moment." As he stood, Willow Spoke up.   
  
"Um… I do." she gave a guilty smile. "But do we really need her? I mean can't we handle this ourselves?"   
  
"No, I'm afraid not." His face was full of concern and he spoke quietly to her. "In order to save Tara, we need to have the Slayer's presence."   
  
"Well, see there's the problem… Buffy's not in town. See Spike left town because his cravings were kinda getting…um, hard to control. And he didn't want to endanger any of us… so he left. And Buffy went after him. She was really upset. I think she'd figured she'd be back before anyone noticed."   
  
Giles sighed. "So, where is she now?"   
  
"L.A.. She thinks Spike went to see Angel for help." Willow replied.   
  
Xander snickered "Oh, that's a good one."   
  
"No it isn't." Giles stated in a voice that left no room for argument. "Dawn, call Angel. Tell him we need Buffy back now." She got up and headed for the phone. "Xander, go to Tara's. Find out what kind of condition she's in, but be careful. Do not, under any circumstances, confront whatever you find there. Get back here as soon as possible."   
  
"Reconnaissance only. Gotcha." Xander threw Giles a sloppy salute and hurried out the door.   
  
"Anya, close up shop, then come help me with research." Giles headed for the stairs that lead to the loft where his private collection was kept, but Willow stopped him.   
  
"What about me?"   
  
Giles turned his head to look at her. "You, sit. There's nothing you can do, you need to save your strength for the coming battle." He paused and his voice took on a frightening tone. "And yes… there is going to be a battle." He turned and hurried up the stairs.   
End ch 4 ~~~>To be continued...   
  
*******************  
  
  



End file.
